


Officer Wilde: Reporting for Doody

by Six_Underscore



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Constipation, Desperation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flatulence, Gas - Freeform, Hidden Camera, Hurt/Comfort, Public Humiliation, Public Nudity, Scat, Urine, Video Cameras, Watersports, gassy - Freeform, poop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-02-28 00:30:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13259826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Six_Underscore/pseuds/Six_Underscore
Summary: After suffering from a bout of constipation for three days, Officer Nick Wilde's building dump finally decides it wants out at the most inconvenient of times: while he's on assignment to investigate a break-in at the Natural History Museum. With none of the restrooms open for him to make use of, Nick is forced to use some unconventional methods to relieve himself before he destroys his pants. While he thinks he's been discreet about his emergency relief, he might soon learn that the walls have ears, as well as eyes.Heavily inspired by Thumperpump's (https://inkbunny.net/Thumperump) story "Answering the Call of the Wilde", which you can view here: https://inkbunny.net/s/1354868I enjoyed it quite a bit when I first read it, but felt like it could benefit from some expansion on certain things. Think of this as more of a plot-heavy extremely detailed version of the original. Thanks to the original author for giving permission to make this story based on his idea. Hope you and everyone else enjoys it.





	1. Chapter 1

It was something that went unnoticed by the majority of Zootopia’s citizens, except for those who had enough time and energy to observe. The exact moment when the sun rose high enough over the horizon, changing the soft blue morning sky to the shining clarity of dawn. It was the same moment that the majority of shops and services throughout the town had been opened for business, and walking traffic had reached its typical bustle throughout the streets. The largest influx of civilian traffic crowded the streets of Savanna Central, with a variety of animal species coming and going from the central train station, or making their way to The Big Donut for a sweet breakfast and coffee to start their morning. From the biggest elephant to the smallest mouse, every mammal in Zootopia moved with a purpose to whatever their day held for them.

Within the downtown area of Savanna Central, a blue Wolveswagen made its way down the exit ramp above and catty-cornered to the Zootopia Police Department, rolling its way towards the employee parking section of the building. Inside the car sat two mammals dressed in their uniform blues. A small gray rabbit with a protective vest and knee pads sat in the passenger's seat. Her ears stood upright and her eyes opened wide, looking over the bottom of the window and at the department while her round, poofy tail shook with excitement over her round posterior. Next to her behind the steering wheel sat a red fox, dressed in a more traditional short-sleeve police uniform and tie, his expression the exact opposite of the rabbit next to him. His pointed ears remained down against his head, his eyelids half-open while his right paw clutched a large cup of Snarlbucks coffee. A labored groan escaped the hanging mouth of the fox as he averted his eyes from the department.

“I don’t want to go to work today, Judy,” the fox mumbled, taking another feeble sip from his coffee cup.

“Nick, you never want to go to work,” Judy replied when she looked back at him, “Why’s today any different?”

“You know why,” Nick fired back with a lifeless tone. Judy looked back at him and her eyes moved down, seeing Nick’s left paw rubbing his stomach in slow but firm strokes. He emitted a sigh of discomfort through his nostrils, and Judy’s face turned from one of jest to one of sympathy.

“How long has it been now?” she asked without a hint of mockery in her voice.

“Three days,” Nick replied, “Three days since I last made a deposit to the sceptic bank.”

“You know why that is, right?”

“Please, enlighten me,” Nick said with a roll of his eyes while lifting his coffee back to his lips.

“First off, you’re holding problem number one in your right paw,” Judy said, pointing at the white paper cup Nick drank from. The fox pulled the cup away and looked it over, like it had some secret message on it that he’d somehow missed.

“Coffee’s a diuretic though, right?” Nick asked in confusion, “If anything, drinking more of it might help loosen things up in there.”

“Well, that brings up problem number two… heh, number two,” Judy giggled, before noticing the cross look on Nick’s face, “Right, sorry. The second problem is, you’ve been drinking a lot more coffee than plain old H2O. Believe me, I’ve seen it during every one of our shifts. Your beverage intake is usually four or five cups of coffee a day, a soda at lunch, and maybe one or two sips of water from a fountain if you pass by it.”

“So?”

“So, drinking all that caffeine makes your body lose its hydration. And if it’s not hydrated enough, it makes it hard for your insides to keep things moving.”

“Whoops,” Nick grumbled, doing a poor job of hiding his irritation.

“And whoopsie number threesie would be your breakfast habits as of late. You rely on the ZPD’s vending machine for a compacted cereal bar that’s just carbs and sugar, instead of having something with fiber and protein before you start your work day.”

“Well, I don’t have time to make a proper breakfast in the morning.”

“I do. Because I wake up with an hour to spare before we have to leave, meaning I can take plenty of time to prepare a nutritious meal for my day.”

“Well, good for you, farmer-bunny. Not all mammals are early-risers like you. Some of us prefer to use that extra time to sleep.”

“But it’s taking a toll on you, Nick,” Judy asserted, before reaching out to hold his paw, “Sweetheart, I’m not trying to scold you or make you feel bad; I’m telling you this because I’m concerned about your health. I just want you to make better decisions, so you’re healthier and happier throughout the week. Okay?”

Nick felt a bit of warmth travel up his wrist and through his exposed forearm under Judy caressing his paw. His sight rose toward his partner, straight into the bright purple eyes staring back at him. The sincerity in her expression coaxed a feeling of warmth inside him, mixed with a slight twinge of guilt. Judy wasn’t disgusted or uncomfortable with his problem in the slightest; she just felt concerned for his overall well-being. Even though he’d been constipated for a few days and didn’t feel anything past some discomfort and sluggishness, she still felt worried for his sake that it might grow into an even bigger problem if he didn’t change his routine.

It had been the same way between them for the past two months since they’d begun dating. A hesitant request to join him for dinner, a passionate night at his apartment and a pleasant breakfast the morning after, and the two had stuck to each other like glue. Though they were still feeling things out between themselves, it seemed magical how well they meshed together. So many nights Judy would forsake her own apartment just to spend the night at Nick’s, to have dinner, to watch movies or just to jump in his bed and let their lust guide them through the sheets. And every moment they spent together, both of them exuded the most tender affection for one another, conveying a sense of trust and security to ease their minds.

“Alright Carrots, you win,” Nick relented, drawing a smile from the rabbit he adored, “After today, I’ll start eating better. More veggies, more water, wake up early for a healthier breakfast and _slightly_ less coffee every day.”

“How much is ‘slightly less’?” Judy asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“Instead of five, how about I cut it down to three?”

“How about one?”

“Two. One in the morning and one to get me past lunch.”

“Fine, two’s a fair number. But how about instead of two large coffee’s, how about you get a small size for your second cup?”

“How about you just kill me, Carrots?”

“Nick…” Judy said with protest.

“Ugh, fine,” Nick groaned, “How about a medium then?”

“Okay, fair enough,” Judy relented, “Now come on, we’ve only got a few minutes until the morning briefing starts.”

While the rabbit hopped out of the car, Nick slowly eased himself out of his seat. He winced from the weight in his stomach poke at his entrails, like a needle poking along the soft tissue as he forced himself to stand. Gritting his teeth, Nick stood in place while the pain took its time subsiding until it reached a point that he could move again. He looked over the car hood and saw Judy looking toward him, a look of concern on her face. Nick gave her a reassuring nod before stepping around the car, following her toward the front doors of ZPD Precinct One.

Stepping through the front doors, the fox and rabbit duo entered the large police department, seeing a number of officers and detectives strolling across the vicinity or conversing with themselves. Dressed in a light brown coat was Detective Elksworth, his phone sandwiched between his shoulder and his face with his pen jotting down hasty notes on the notepad in his left hoof. At the center of the room Nick saw the familiar face of Officer Benjamin Clawhauser, the plump cheetah occupying himself with a bowl of Lucky Chomps while the officers around him made their way toward the bullpen. Judy gave the cheetah a friendly wave which he returned, while Nick forced himself to offer a polite smile to hide his discomfort in the pit of his stomach. He took a large gulp of his lukewarm coffee, sucking it down as if his life depended on it.

Nick liked to tell himself that he wasn’t a caffeine addict, that if he wanted to, he could quit anytime he wanted. The few times he’d tried, or on the occasion that he’d been forced to go more than a day without coffee, he would find himself without an ounce of energy, accompanied by head-splitting migraines. Judy had told him that he could kick the habit with enough commitment, even if it meant cutting down little by little. He resolved that one day he’d kick his dependency on the bitter substance. Today however wasn’t that day. And tomorrow wouldn’t be either.

Having made their way down the central area of the station, Nick and Judy opened the pinewood door and walked across the sand-colored tile of the department’s briefing room. Throughout the lime-green walls of the room, various officers around them engaged in all manner of horseplay before the morning meeting started. Some of the officers locked themselves in a fierce arm-wrestling match, while others passed the time with a game of paper-football between desks. Nick tossed his empty Snarlbucks cup in the nearby trash can before stepping forward with Judy, and hearing a familiar voice call out to them.

“Morning you two!” Officer Francine Pennington’s elephant trunk waved from the left side of the room. Judy returned a similar gesture with her paw, while Nick gave the same plastered smile he’d given Clawhauser a minute ago.

“Yo, Wilde Man, what’s up?” Officer Wolfard asked from next to McHorn, while Nick struggled to climb up the seat that Judy had jumped up to with ease, “Whoa, you don’t look so good buddy. You okay?”

“Yeah — no, I’m just…” Nick struggled to speak, his eyes squinting when the stabbing feeling in his gut returned from his effort in climbing the seat, “Just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Heh. Wonder what kept you up? Or maybe I should ask _who_ kept you up?” The wolf corrected himself, his eyes looking to the standing rabbit Nick sat next to.

“Maintenance, that’s who,” Nick snapped with a scowl, “My upstairs neighbor had something in his bathroom break, and had to get emergency maintenance involved. Pretty much spent the whole night hearing hammering and power drills on the floor above me.”

“Alright alright, chillax, bro,” Wolfard implored with his paws in front of him, “Sorry you’re all cranky today. Don’t need to get all defensive about it.”

Following a subtle grumble under his breath, Nick felt the same paw that had held his paw in his car grip the fur of his forearm. Though his head remained forward, his eyes glanced down to see Judy’s gray paw giving him a light squeeze, helping to soothe the frustration building within him. Nick took a breath and shook his head, realizing that Wolfard’s jabs weren’t anything worth getting worked up over. He felt a gentle pat from Judy before she released his arm, followed by Officer Higgins taking his place at the front of the room off to the right side.

“Ten-HUT!” The hippopotamus called out, prompting every mammal to stand at attention. A second passed before the door to the right opened, the large cape buffalo who ran the department, Chief Samuel M. Bogo, stepping through with a collection of manilla folders in his left hoof. A tribal chanting from all of the officers, along with a sequential pounding on the desks, emphasized the arrival of their boss and his march toward the podium at the center of the room. Even Judy had learned over the year working there to join in on the fun, pounding her tiny fists against the desk and chanting along with her coworkers. While Nick usually joined in the antics himself, his state of mind could only allow for him to weakly tap his knuckles against the desk while the buffalo approached his podium.

“Enough,” Bogo commanded, prompting the pounding and chanting to dwindle down to silence, “Seats. Now.” At his command, every officer sat back down, with the exception of Judy who had to stand in order to see over the table she leaned on. “Let’s get the frivolous stuff out of the way. First of all, let’s welcome back Officer Andersen from his week off. From what I’ve heard, his family has a new addition to it. A girl cub was it, Andersen?”

“Yes sir,” the polar bear replied while the room erupted with a flurry of applause and cheers, “And beautiful as the woman who gave birth to her.”

“Fascinating. All the best to the three of you then. Glad to have you back.” Bogo’s eyes moved down the docket, surveying the bullet points of what he needed to address. “Speaking of officers not with us, has anyone seen Wilde anywhere?” Nick’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, pulling his lips away from his almost empty cup of coffee and staring forward at his boss, who looked everywhere except where the fox sat. He looked to his right toward Judy, seeing a mirrored expression on her face too. “Haven’t heard hide nor hair from him in days. I’m thinking of sending a search party out for him, but I might just fire him and call it a day. That sounds easier to me.”

“Uh, chief?” Nick uttered, lifting his paw into the air, “Right here. And I haven’t taken any days off, except for when I had a fever for a few days last month.”

“Oh, there’s Wilde,” Bogo replied with a noticeable tone of sarcasm in his voice, “Most days I can’t make it thirty seconds into my briefing without your smart-mouth. I didn’t even realize you were there.”

“Blow it out your ass, Buffalo Butt,” Nick shot back on impulse. The moment he’d said it, he instantly regretted it. He could feel every eye in the room fixed on him, including Judy’s, while Chief Bogo’s nostrils flared and his jaw clenched with anger.

“I’m sorry Wilde, I don’t think I heard you correctly,” Bogo said, his hooves gripping the side of the podium with enough force to make the wood creak from under his grasp, “Would you like to repeat what you just said a little louder?”

Nick could feel his paws shaking, and a swelling fear building in his stomach, adding to the dull stabbing torturing him the whole morning. He wanted so much to go off on the buffalo at the moment, to let his frustration flow out of him in place of his bowels unable to let anything out. Instead, Nick took another breath to calm himself before he spoke.

“No sir,” Nick said in a defeated tone, at a volume that everyone could hear, “I apologize, Chief Bogo.”

“That’s what I thought,” Bogo replied with an intimidating snort. Nick kept his head down and his ears lowered for the rest of the meeting, not wanting to meet the chief’s gaze even if his life depended on it. “Now then, let’s move onto assignments for the day. Fangmeyer, Grizzoli, Delgato,” Bogo called, holding one of the folders, “A number of break-ins were reported this morning at Yaksbury and Tenth. Get down there and investigate the victims, along with the neighbors. Wolfard, Jackson…”

While Chief Bogo continued to give out assignments, Nick’s attention drifted away from the burly voice grinding on his nerves. He’d messed up and he knew it. Since his first day on the job, Nick had made a playful habit out of making wisecracks to a number of things Chief Bogo would say during the morning meetings; just one or two jests, enough to get a chuckle from his fellow officers, but not so much that he considered it a disruption. This time however, he’d let the discomfort in his bowels get the best of him, making his reply to the chief more than a light-hearted jab, instead taking the form of outright insubordination. Along with the weight of his three-day old stool within his intestines, his gut now weighed heavy with the fear that he might have put his job in danger.

“Hopps. Wilde,” Bogo called out, snapping Nick from his thoughts and forcing him to look forward, “Special assignment for you. A break in occurred at the Natural History Museum last night. Our detectives are up to their ears in more grisly cases, so since you two obtained some investigative experience from the Bellwether case, I’m having you look into it in their stead. The museum’s closed for the day, so you won’t find any interference from citizens. Report anything you find to me. Dismissed.”

Judy jumped down from her seat and stepped underneath the desk, stepping forward to grab the case file Bogo held in his hoof. Nick forced himself to slide off of his chair while bearing the pain of his three-day dump poking around his intestines, turning to follow behind Judy already headed toward the door Bogo had entered through.

“Wilde, a word with you. Now,” Bogo commanded. Nick had to force himself not to roll his eyes as he turned back  toward the chief, Judy standing close by her partner. “Hopps, I dismissed you. I’m speaking to Wilde. Leave.” Her nose twitching with discomfort, Judy looked to Nick, who could gave a feeble nod toward her. With a hesitant step backwards, Judy forced herself to turn away and step through the door.

“My eyes are on my face, Wilde, not on my knees,” Bogo sneered at the fox who stood at his waistline. With reluctance, Nick lifted his face up to look at the buffalo scowling down at him with his arms crossed. “For the past few months, I’ve put up with your mouthing off for one reason and one reason only: because you’re Hopps’s partner, and she happens to be the best officer on the force,” he growled, “She recommended you for a reason that I myself can’t fathom, and for some other reason, she finds your wisecracks funny. I put up with you because of her. If that rabbit were not your partner, I would have done everything in my power to keep you from working at this specific precinct.”

Along with the pain Nick felt in his lower intestines, he felt his chest tighten a bit under Bogo’s insults. He’d suspected it for some time, teetering on the fence if it was true or just his his pessimism, but now it became clear: Bogo had it out for him. He’d thought it might have been typical rookie hazing, but the way Bogo spoke to him now showed that he was looking for a reason to get rid of the fox if he could find one.

“I promise you Wilde; if you ever pop off to me at that level again, you will not work here anymore, even if Hopps objects to it. You do not challenge me in front of the officers under my employment, and I will fire you on the spot in front of all of them if I feel the need to. Understood?”

Nick could feel his chest tighten and the red and black fur of his tail standing slightly from his building anger. Pushing his pride down to the pit of his aching gut, Nick faced his chief with a stone gaze lacking any trace of mockery or disdain.

“Yes sir,” he replied in a flat tone.

“Good,” Bogo replied, “Now get going.”

Bogo was the first to leave the room, followed by Nick who wore a sour expression on his face as the buffalo made his way back to his office on the second level. Next to the open door stood Judy, who had waited behind for he and Bogo to exit the bullpen.

“Nick, I… heard what he said,” Judy explained, looking at the fox’s agitated glare, “You okay?”

“Never better, Carrots,” Nick grumbled, “Can we just get to work before Chief Bozo fires me for standing in one place for more than two seconds?”

“Nick, don’t do that, not with me,” Judy insisted, pulling him to the side and leaning against the wall, “Talk to me.” Nick looked into Judy’s concerned eyes, knowing she just wanted to help, but at a loss for how she could.

“What do you want me to say, Judy?” Nick asked, “That I hate my boss, that he treats me like crap and even though I’m not perfect, I don’t think I deserve half the grief he gives me?”

“That’s a start,” Judy replied, “Because I agree with you completely. I would never question Bogo’s integrity and his competence in his job, but I’ve sensed over the months that he hasn’t warmed up to you like I thought he would. I don’t know why though; maybe it’s because he’s still tail-tattered about how you stood up to him in the Rainforest District a year ago?”

“Maybe it’s something to do with that, or maybe it’s something more specific. What did he say when you told him I was a witness to Mr. Manchas going savage? Oh yeah: ‘You think I’m gonna believe a fox?’” Judy inhaled through her teeth and her ears fell behind her head at the memory of the chief standing over in the Rainforest District, demanding her badge before her time to find Otterton had expired.

“I get it, Nick. I can’t say for sure, but there’s a good chance he might have something against foxes. If that’s the case, I’m sorry that he’s holding that against you.” Judy reached a paw out and held his wrist, giving it the same reassuring squeeze she’d given in the car earlier. “You’ve already put up with that kind of intolerance as a cub and it’s not fair that you have to face it even more now as an adult. If you don’t feel comfortable working under someone like that… then I don’t blame you if you want to quit.”

Judy’s words hit him like a hammer to the chest. He’d remembered Judy’s excitement  when he told her the ZPD had accepted his application, how she’d coached and tutored him all through his academy training. It had all paid off with the proud smiles both of them had the day she pinned his badge to his chest on his day of graduation. Mad as he felt at Bogo and how much he wanted to toss his badge on his desk, flip him off and walk out the door, he couldn’t just throw an entire year of he and Judy’s hard work away.

“It’s fine, Judy,” Nick said in a softer tone, “When I’ve got a partner like you, I can put up with anything; even Buffalo Butt kicking me around just so he can feel better about himself.” Nick felt a bit of reassurance upon seeing Judy’s ears stand tall once again, a beam of joy spread across her face while she squeezed his wrist even more.

“Thank you, Nick. That means alot to me.” Still staring at him, Judy’s mouth curled up with a bit of apprehension. “Oh Nick, you’ve got something on your face,” she said, motioning her paw for him to lean down toward her.

“I do?” Nick asked, craning his neck down until his eyes remained just above Judy’s. In an instant, she leaned her face forward and planted a soft kiss on his lips, pulling back just a second after she’d made contact with him.

“Yup. Don’t worry, it’s gone now,” she said, brushing his face and moving her paws down his short-sleeve shirt to straighten his tie.

“Heh. Sly bunny,” Nick muttered with a grin while his tail swayed behind him, the red and black fur having simmered down to their smoothed and even consistency

“Cute fox,” Judy fired back, “Come on, let’s get this case file to the equipment room, so we can get some proper investigation supplies.”

“Before that…” Nick said, redirecting Judy’s march down the hall to another corridor near the one they’d just exited, “Need to get some breakfast.” Judy followed the fox’s line of sight, and let out a groan upon seeing a vending machine resting against one of the walls.

“Nick, come on,” she said with agitation, “We talked about that in the parking lot.”

“And I said I’d start changing my habits _tomorrow_ ,” Nick replied as he fished out his wallet and two dollars from the slit behind his driver’s license, “Would you rather I just starve?” With a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head, Judy held her tongue and let the fox make his way to the machine.

Nick always had to climb a foot up the ZPD’s vending machines to slip his money into its slot. The ache around his abdomen swelled for a bit while he slipped his dollar bills into the machine, and pressed the button combination B6. Dropping down from his heightened position, Nick looked through the glass and saw a rectangular bar wrapped in blue plastic move forward, until it fell to the bottom of the machine with a muffled thunk. Nick stuck his paw past the heavy flap until he felt the plastic wrapper underneath his touch. Pulling his paw back, Nick gazed with joy at the Chocolate Chunk Cookie Crunch Cereal Bar in his grasp. Though not as tasty as the original bowl of cereal dunked in ice cold milk, it made a suitable substitute for an officer on the go. Nick began to peel the top of the wrapper open to reveal the dark brown bar inside at the same time he turned back toward Judy.

“Nick, look out!” Judy shouted. Before he had a chance to look up, a large, burly leg slammed into Nick’s face. The impact caused a sting through the bridge of his nose and knocked his back onto the floor, causing him to drop the cereal bar from the force of his fall.

“Ow, cripes!” Nick screamed when the pain of hitting the tile floor registered with his brain. He couldn’t even see straight for several seconds, with the mix of blue and green swirls clouding his vision, “Tsss… ah… ow, ow, ow,” he groaned with his back arched upward, the outline of Judy’s head and upright ears standing over his eyes.

“Oh my God, Nick, are you okay?” she asked, leaning down and putting her paw over him.

“I’ll live,” Nick grimaced, picking himself up and turning over to see what had knocked him on his tail. He saw sprawled on the floor behind him the tall figure of Detective Elksworth pushing himself up from the floor, turning his head to look over his shoulder at the fox he’d just tripped over.

“Sorry about that, Wilde,” Elksworth said, making no effort to hide the annoyance in his voice, “Got places to be. Can’t afford to stand around in front of a vending machine all day.”

“Oh, that’s alright, Detective,” Nick replied, reaching for the opened bar wrapped in blue in front of him before standing to his feet, “I’d imagine it’s hard to see where you’re going when you’ve got your nose buried in your notebook.”

Nick left alongside Judy, and Elksworth let out an annoyed snort, picking up the second bar wrapped in an opened blue wrapper. After leaving the scene of the crash, Nick took a huge bite out of the bar in his paw, his tastebuds dancing underneath the sensation of crunchy cereal and chocolate.

“You’re such a kid, Nick,” Judy said, watching him scarf down the breakfast bar in his paw.

“Yup, and proud of it,” Nick replied, “You stay young at heart, and you’ll never grow old.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, grandpa.”

“Hey, I’m only eight years older than you.”

“That’s almost a decade.”

“ _Almost_ being the key word there,” Nick said, taking the last bite of his bar before throwing the plastic away into the refuse bin outside the doors of the equipment room. With the wrapper unfurled, the front of the label read Good Fiberation: Crunchy Fiber Cereal Bar with Small Laxative Chocolate Chunks!


	2. Chapter 2

 

“Alright Nick, let’s go over the supplies, just to make sure nothing’s missing,” the rabbit police officer said to the red fox in front of her, both of them putting their black bags she on the ground and unzipping them from the top, “Gloves?”

“Check,” Nick replied, holding up the aforementioned items the same time that Judy did for her bag. 

“Brushes?”

“Powder?”

“Check.”

“Blacklights?”

“Check,” Nick replied, his voice beginning to grow a little bored from Judy’s thorough review of the items they needed for their investigation today. 

“Camera?”

“Check.”

“Dumb fox?”

“Che — ah ha ha!” Nick laughed while he wagged a digit of his right paw toward Judy, “You  _ almost  _ got me, Judy. Nearly walked right into that one.” The rabbit shot back an energetic beam toward him, taking pride in the fact that she’d at least come close to catching him off guard. 

“I think we’ve got everything, Let’s start heading over to the museum,” Judy said, repacking her supplies and hoisting the black bag over the right strap of her kevlar vest. Nick took a few seconds longer to pack his supplies in a tidy fashion, before letting it hang over the left shoulder of his short-sleeve uniform shirt. Walking through the bright white walls of the supply room for Precinct One and the numerous metal shelves of equipment, Nick and Judy walked toward the door they’d entered from five minutes ago. 

“Get everything you need?” the male impala in charge of the ZPD’s supplies asked from his desk near the door.

“Sure did, Jerry,” Judy replied, giving the bag she carried a small pat from the side, while Nick readjusted the black tie in front of his short sleeve uniform shirt. 

“Great. Just need both of you to sign and date the forms here that list which equipment you’re using.” Jerry passed a clipboard to Judy, who scribbled down her name, badge number and the date before giving it to Nick for him to do the same. “And you’re all set. Good luck over there.”

“Thank you. Have a wonderful day, Jerry,” Judy said as Nick passed the clipboard back to the impala. Stepping out into the hallway, Nick noticed one of the panda custodians for the ZPD taking out the trash bag where he’d thrown away the wrapping for his breakfast bar. With traces of its taste still in his mouth, he began to realize that particular bar had tasted somewhat different from how the others did for the past few weeks he’d eaten them. Something about the consistency of the crunch and the taste of the chocolate pieces throughout its form. It didn’t taste bad by any means; just different. 

_ Maybe being constipated for three days messes with your taste buds? _ Nick wondered as they walked across the busy central hall of the ZPD. He wasn’t sure if that made any sense, but it was the only thing he could think of at the moment. He pushed the thought out of his mind once he realized his energy had begun to dwindle, the fog of the morning beginning to cloud his alertness. Almost twenty minutes had passed since finishing his coffee when they’d entered the police station, and Nick decided he might be due for another before starting their investigation. 

“Hey, before we head to the museum, think we could stop by Snarlbucks?” Nick asked, stepping outside and into the bright light of the morning sun overlooking Savanna Central, “I could use another drink right about now.”

“Oh, here’s a better idea,” Judy said, looking forward toward the edge of the park at the center of the town. Nick looked in the same direction Judy did, seeing a small group of prey and predator mammals on the sidewalk of the park, carrying cardboard signs that read  Support Herbert Hoofer High School’s Funds: Water Bottles, $1 Each . At the center of the group of high school students, Nick could see a pair of coolers open at the top, displaying the water bottles surrounded with ice. 

“Actually, I was gonna get another cup of....” Nick found himself faced with a disapproving glower from the rabbit in front of him, raising her right eyebrow and tapping her foot in frustration. “Ugh. Nevermind,” Nick relented, following Judy across the road and toward the group of mammals on the sidewalk. Before he could even reach a paw toward his pocket, Judy already had her wallet out and fished two dollars out. “Judy, you don’t have to do that, I can pay for it.”

“I know I don’t, but I want to,”  she said, passing the money in her paw to the goat in front of her and receiving two bottles of water in exchange, “My treat, for helping you make some healthier beverage choices.”

“Alright, thanks,” Nick said with a bit of defensiveness, taking a bottle from her and twisting the cap off. Taking a swig from the plastic, Nick was surprised at how refreshing the liquid felt pouring over his tongue and down his throat. He’d not thought himself lacking hydration, but the way his senses jumped to the water in his mouth, he now realized how much he needed it. Before they’d even stepped out the front doors of the department, Nick had already drank one-third of its contents. “Wow, that hit the spot,” Nick said with a gasp when he pulled the water from his mouth and licked his lips, “Didn’t realize how much I needed that. Thanks Judy.”

“What would you do without me?” Judy said with an egotistical grin while she took a light sip from her own water.

“Lay down and die,” Nick said in a mocking tone, before lifting the bottle back up to his mouth. Following a few minutes walk across the park in the middle of Savanna Central, Nick had drained the plastic bottle of every drop of water, tossing it into the recycling bin in front of the stairs leading to the museum. He wasn’t sure if it was the hydration or just his mood picking up, but the stabbing pain he’d felt in his stomach melted away, replaced with a sense of soothing relaxation. Part of him wished that Judy had another bottle of water on her, just to see if one good turn followed by another might help even more. 

Judy reached the front doors of the museum first, tugging on the knobs to find it locked just like they’d anticipated. She cupped her paws over her eyes to stare into the glass doors, Nick doing the same. From what the both of them could see, there weren’t any employees present to let them in. Judy tapped the glass a few times before giving up and reaching for her walkie. 

“Dispatch, this is Z-240; can you contact the curator and tell him we’re outside, over?” she asked.

“ _ Roger that, he’ll have you in a few minutes from now, over _ ,” the feminine voice of Benjamin Clawhauser responded.

“10-4, over and out.” Leaning against the glass, Judy holstered her walkie and leaned her head back against the glass door. “You ever visited this place before, Nick?” Judy asked, the fox taking her cue and pressing his back against the door. 

“I have, actually,” Nick replied, “I came here after a ride on the subway with some redneck hick. Can’t remember her name though, because I ended up getting in a fight with some sheep.”

“Hoh, so funny,” Judy said with a smirk, sliding downward to sit on the pavement in front of the door while Nick did the same, “I meant aside from when we got cornered by Bellwether and knocked into the pit.”

“Yeah, once or twice as a kid,” Nick explained while Judy scooted herself closer to Nick, with just the thickness of his bushy red and black tail sitting between them, “Mom took me when I was little, and I had fun seeing all the dinosaur skeletons. Then I went again on a class field trip in grade school. Wasn’t really that into it.”

“We should go again some time,” Judy suggested, reaching over to hold the red fur of his right forearm, “You know, explore the place when we’re not running from corrupt politicians?” Nick opened his mouth to respond, before his eyebrows lifted and his jaw remained frozen in place. “Whoa, Nick, if you don’t want to go, that’s fine. Just thought I’d make a suggestion.”

“No-no, it’s not that, Judy, it’s…” Nick trailed off, his ears lowering a bit. 

“Oh… that?” Judy said, nodding her head downward toward his stomach.

“… Yeah,” Nick said with hesitance, “That.” While Judy was correct in guessing where the problem resided, it was a different problem than what had plagued him for the past few days. The stabbing pain he’d felt had subsided, only to be replaced by a soft swelling in his sphincter. He considered giving it a push to relieve some of the pressure of his building flatulence, but wasn’t sure if he trusted the stairs he sat upon, in case they caused the noise to reverberate his gas to an embarrassing volume. Flexing his lower muscles, he willed his sphincter to pull back and stow the pocket of building gas away for the moment. 

“I know it’s not that big of a deal to you,” Judy said in a hushed tone, “But if you reach day four without any improvement, you might want to schedule a doctor’s appointment.”

“I will,” Nick replied, “It’s not like I’m enjoying being blocked up, you know?”

With an understanding nod, Judy turned her head to see a pig in a drabby uniform unlocking the doors from the other side.The two stood to their feet as the doors opened, the pig tipping his hat to the both of them. 

“Hey there, officers,” the swine greeted them, extending his hoof to shake their paws, “You guys here for the break in?”

“That’s us,” Nick replied, clenching his butt cheeks together when he felt the building need to fart return, doing what he could to suck the pressure back into his colon.

“Curator’s on the third floor, in the Zootopian Renaissance section. Once you go up the elevator down the hall here, take a left and it’s the first corridor on the right.”

“Wonderful, thank you so much,” Judy replied before they left, the pig tipping his hat to them before relocking the doors. 

Nick’s jaw clenched as they moved forward, feeling the bubble between his glutes swell a bit more with each step. His eyes looked to the left toward Judy, taking in the sight of her lovely figure. The kevlar vest she wore drew more attention to her sturdy shoulders, as well as her slim stomach further downward. Where her tiny waistline ended, her wide hips and round buttocks filled out every fiber of her navy pants, as did her sturdy legs with her metallic knee pads above her calves. Even after they’d dated for a few months, Nick still found himself in awe of Judy’s beautiful appearance, making him feel even more under pressure to think of a way to release some of his gas before entering the elevator without letting Judy know. 

His anxiousness made it hard to think, and before he could come up with a believable excuse, Judy had pressed the elevator button and the silver doors had opened. Nick reluctantly followed Judy inside, and the doors closed before a sudden jolt rocked the confines. The surprise shake and the upward movement of the elevator brought Nick’s need to fart back with a vengeance to the point that his teeth clenched in pain from holding it back.

_ Okay, just be really really careful,  _ Nick thought to himself while the elevator crawled upward, letting his tail lift at a slow pace,  _ Don’t even push, just let it ease out on its own. _ Nick breathed in through his nose, concentrating hard and using all the restraint he had to let his anal muscles slowly relax from the mounting pressure behind the orifice under his tail.

**_Praaaaaapt-pluup_ **

Nick’s eyes widened and his ears fell back in shock from the explosive blast from his rear. He’d meant to let it slip out in silence, but his sphincter had gotten carried away with the idea of relaxation and had followed through more than he’d wanted. It had been so powerful that it had made his red buttcheeks vibrate underneath his blue uniform pants. His face burned with the knowledge that Judy had heard it; she’d have to have been deaf not to hear such a thing, and even then she might have felt the sudden vibration. He could only imagine that the reason she wasn’t saying anything about it was out of politeness; or perhaps she was in shock from how loud and sudden it was. 

On reaction, Nick took a breath through his nose, and caught a powerful whiff of the gas he’d released from his behind. He pulled his lips in when the sharp acidic stench entered his nose. He’d ripped some robust farts in his life, but this particular one smelled more sour and rank than any he could remember. Nick prayed that through some miracle, Judy wouldn’t have to smell what he’d just unleashed; that somehow he could keep his gaseous odor in a self-contained bubble of shame away from her nose. 

“Ack-kaff-kaff --augh!” Judy coughed several seconds after his massive flatulent outburst, turning her head away from Nick and making his innards twist from embarrassment, “Oh my God, Nick!” Judy exclaimed through the collar of her shirt pulled over her nose and mouth, her ears falling against the back of her neck.

“I’m sorry, Judy,” Nick said with shame, waving his right paw behind his butt in a futile effort to fan away the invisible fumes lingering around him, “I didn’t think it would be that bad.” Nick looked in desperation to the floor screen, showing to his dismay they’d only just reached the second floor.

“I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but — ugh!” Judy gagged, her face still under the cover of her shirt, “Usually your farts aren’t this bad!”

“ _ That _ bad?” Nick asked, “I was under the impression you’d never smelled my farts before”

“I smell them all the time! That’s what happens when you drink that much coffee, it gives you gas. I just don’t say anything about it because they’re somewhat bearable. I wasn’t gonna say anything about this one either, but what even makes that smell?”

“I don’t know!” Nick exclaimed, internally begging for the door to open once they’d reached the third floor. It felt like an eternity, but the silver doors at last opened, and Judy sprinted out in the blink of an eye. She lowered her shirt collar and inhaled the uncontaminated air outside the elevator, before coughing for several more seconds. “Judy, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, Nick,” Judy said, putting her paw up to him, “I’m not  _ mad  _ at you, just… holy toledo, that was a bad one.”

“Yeah. It was. Don’t know where it came from.” Judy shot her eyes up at him, before directing them down to his lower half and then back up to him. “Shut up. I’m embarrassed enough already.”

“I don’t blame you. I would be too, if I let a blast like that one slip.” Still waving her paw in front of her nose, Judy began to walk down the left side of the hallway with Nick behind her, until they reached a corridor on their right. “Thank God you’re walking downwind from me right now,” she muttered, making Nick roll his eyes in response. 

Through the opening in the wall, the two entered a large white room, the walls covered with a collection of oil paintings from hundreds of years ago, during the Zootopian Renaissance. Nick recognized so many iconic paintings as he looked around the area. To his left, he could see the Mona Llama, the black furred woman in an even blacker dress sitting with her hooves crossed over her lap and wearing a subtle grin on her face. On the right he could see a painting of a nude white-tailed deer standing on an open clam, The Birth of Virginianus, her hooves covering her privates while angelic mammals looked on from the side. At the farthest side of the room, his favorite painting of all, the creation of Addax. The painting depicted a horned mammal in the sky wearing brilliant white robes extending a hoof toward the Earth, where a similar looking mammal without clothing rose his hoof to meet the one above him. 

_ Funny, someone paints pictures of naked mammals hundreds of years ago, everyone calls it “art” _ , Nick thought to himself,  _ You draw a naked mammal today, it’s considered “porn”.  _ After shaking his head in disappointment, both he and Judy’s ears perked up when they heard a voice from the other side of the room. They looked to see a zebra dressed in a brown vest with a purple collared shirt underneath, talking on his cellphone while facing away from them. 

“No sir, we haven’t found anything ourselves,” the zebra said in a poised tone, “I understand we’re losing money by closing the museum, but this is a crime scene; I don’t think it’s in our best interests to have attendants roaming around and tampering with any possible evidence here. And I certainly don’t think it would make a good impression to let them see what painting was stolen like it’s a display of its own. I received a call from the ZPD saying the police had just arrived, so until they complete their investigation, my hooves are tied.”

His ears flicked up in response to Nick and Judy’s footsteps approaching from behind, turning around then looking downward after he saw empty space at his eye level. 

“Ah, speaking of which, they’ve just arrived. I have to go now; have a good day councilman.” The zebra hung his phone up and stuffed it into his pocket before kneeling down to shake the paws of the officers below him. 

“Well, what a nice surprise. I was annoyed to hear that the ZPD wasn’t sending any official detectives to investigate the matter here. If I’d known they were sending renowned Officers Hopps and Wilde, that would have eased my mind quite a bit.”

“Pleasure’s ours, Mister...?” Judy asked, releasing the zebra’s hoof as he moved to shake Nick’s paw. 

“Doctor,” the zebra corrected politely, “Dr. Zander Orshack. I’m the curator of this museum; I’ve been running things for almost five years now, and loved every moment of it.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh yes. I’ve loved history since I was a young colt. So much to learn from our ancestors, retrace our steps and see the path of evolution that brought us here. To be surrounded by so many artifacts that represent our early roots, I consider this my home away from home.”

“Fascinating,” Nick replied, doing his best to feign a tone of interest, despite another sense of discomfort building up between his furry red cheeks, “So, can you show us what was stolen?”

“Right, of course,” Zander replied, pointing a hoof to the wall near where the two officers had appeared. Turning their heads, they could see a clear outline of a rectangular imprint on the wall, a sign of how long the painting had remained in its place before someone had abducted it from its rightful place. “You’re looking at the former location of ‘Madame With The Long Neck’ painted by the great Hippomigianio.” The title of the missing painting brought on the image in Nick’s mind of female giraffe in elegant robes with a calf resting in her lap. “Not one of the most popular names in Renaissance history, but one I cherished nonetheless. I cherish every artifact in my museum.”

“That’s a shame to hear, we’re very sorry this happened to you, Dr. Orshack,” Judy said. Nick nodded alongside her, while his tail remained clamped down over the crack of his behind still harboring the swelling bubble of gas within him. He felt so tempted to let it relax in the hopes that it would slip out undetected, but didn’t want to risk another loud and smelly outburst like the one that had occurred in the elevator a few minutes ago. “Were there any signs of a break in? Or any activity recorded on security cameras?”

“That’s the strange thing,” the curator replied, “The majority of our camera footage went pitch black around midnight, save for a few new cameras we’ve installed, like the ones in the prehistoric section. Whoever broke in must have known what they were doing, if they were able to cut the power to the cameras before entering the place. My employees and I have done a sweep of the place before I sent them home for the day, and none of them found signs of a break in.” 

“Oh… that might not have been a good idea,” Judy said with a wince.

“Why’s that?”

“It’s just never a good idea to let anyone investigate the premises of a crime scene before police get involved, to prevent any tampering of evidence, either accidentally or intentionally.”

“Intentionally?” Dr. Orshack asked with a hint of opposition, “Surely you’re not suggesting one of my employees was behind this?”

“Everyone’s innocent until proven guilty, but we also don’t like to rule out suspects unless they have a solid alibi. To be honest, I think it’s very unlikely one of your employees did it, but it’s still a possibility we have to keep open for protocol.” The zebra closed his eyes and gave a nod of understanding toward Officer Hopps. “Was anything else stolen?”

“Yes actually, over here,” Dr. Orshack said, motioning his hoof to the other side of the room, “A set of tools owned by Michaelantelope: some paintbrushes, a wooden palette for his colors, things of that variety.”

“Alright, let’s have a look,” Judy said before looking toward the fox next to her, “Nick, you think you could take a look at this one while I’m over there?”

“Can do!” Nick replied, too eager for the both of them to walk away from him and give him some space. Zander continued to ramble to Judy about the significance of stolen items while she in turn nodded to humor him. Nick turned his back to the pair leaving him, squeezing his face tight from the discomfort of the gas bubble poking behind his anus. He tried his best to suck it back in and concentrate on the job before him, looking for any clues as to who had abducted the painting from the wall in front of him.

Unzipping the bag hanging from his shoulder, Nick pulled out a large camera and attached the bulb with its stand to the top of the device. It wasn’t going to reveal anything useful, but protocol demanded that he and Judy take photos of the crime scene untampered with before they did anything. After he’d assembled the camera, Nick focused the view on the discolored rectangle shape on the wall, then pressed the button at the top right of the device in his paw. A bright flash and a high-pitched whirr sounded from the camera while a light swirl of blue rings danced before Nick’s eyes. Nick refocused the shot to the left and right sides of the empty space, taking similar shots to capture each angle of the same area. 

_ Well, the evidence in these photos makes it clear,  _ Nick thought to himself, imagining when the photos were developed back at the department and shown to Chief Bogo,  _ This painting is definitely missing _ . His humor at his own joke was cut short by another painful stab in his sphincter, the building flatulence growing tired of its confinement. Nick looked over his shoulder toward where Judy had walked away, seeing her and the zebra still conversing in front of an empty glass case. He knew it was a risk, but he figured now he could get away with it while the two of them stood several paces away from him. Hoping for the best, Nick let his tail lift up just a bit as his rectal muscles flexed.

**_Plrrrrp-pft_ **

“Ahh…” Nick sighed under his breath from the feeling of the warm air wafting through his relaxed anus and into the open air behind him. He felt thankful that while audible to him, it didn’t come close to the volume it had in the elevator. A sense of relief washed over his butthole with the expulsion of the fart he’d held back for the past few minutes, his tail swishing slightly from the enjoyment of his release. A few seconds passed and his nose twitched upon detecting the foul aroma rising up through the air, making him shake his head from the same pungent smell he’d let out in the elevator.

After taking solace in knowing only he had to suffer from his own stench, the sound of approaching footsteps made his eyes pop open in horror. He looked over his shoulder and saw Judy approaching him, while Dr. Orshack walked to the other side of the room and out of the Renaissance area.  _ Oh no, not again _ , Nick thought with anguish as his ears dropped against his head,  _ Carrots, get away from here, it’s not a safe zone. _

“Hey Nick, you’re not gonna believe what I — oh!” Judy’s face scrunched up and her eyes shut tight before she turned her face away from Nick, covering her nose with her right elbow.

“I didn’t think you were coming over,” Nick stuttered, the embarrassment back in the elevator returning with a vengeance and making him stumble over his words, “I thought I was in the clear.”

“Not your fault,” Judy choked, taking a few steps back from Nick before lifting her left paw which held a plastic bag with something inside it, “I found something around the case where the painting tools used to be,” she said, her voice muffled by her elbow covering her mouth and nose, “It’s some white fur; polar bear fur I’d imagine, but we’ll need to get it to forensics to make sure.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Nick said, fanning his right paw in a desperate attempt to rid the air of the stench hanging around them, “Anything else?” 

“Nothing so far. I’m gonna go back over and look around, see if I can find more leads.” Judy turned her face back to Nick, taking a chance and stepping forward now that the smell had dissipated somewhat, “Nick, do me a favor?” she began with a hushed voice, “If your farts are gonna be that smelly, go out into the hallway to let it out. I’m not trying to embarrass you, but it’s kinda hard for us to talk to each other if you’ve got an invisible cloud of stink hanging around you most of the time.” The burning sensation taking hold of Nick’s face extended to his eyes, making them sting just a bit. He knew Judy didn’t mean anything hurtful by it, so he nodded in agreement. 

“Right, I gotcha,” Nick said, unable to look her in the eye at the moment. Judy offered him a sympathetic smile to show she didn’t harbor any hard feelings toward him, before turning away and back toward the other side of the room. 

Shaking away the embarrassment clinging to him, along with the hanging fumes from his butt wafting through the air, Nick stowed away his camera and pulled out a box containing the tools needed to find pawprints. He placed the box on the floor and opened the top, pulling out the brushes and applying a layer of chemicals to the end of one before swishing it across the floor. With the brush in his right paw and a flashlight in his left, Nick looked along the lit floor for any stray outlines of paws, hooves or claws to indicate what kind of mammal had stood in front of the painting. To his disappointment, the floor remained clear as before he’d brushed it, making him wonder if the burglar or burglars had worn something on their feet to avoid leaving any prints. Smart burglars indeed, if that were the case. 

Adding to his annoyance, the familiar swelling sensation returned to Nick’s butthole, making him clench his hindquarters in an effort to keep it from slipping out. He searched his mind for a viable excuse to leave the room, knowing that just like his previous gusts, it would reek to anyone unfortunate enough to be close to him.

“Hey Judy?” Nick called, hearing her acknowledge his voice, “I’m gonna step into the hallway we just walked through, see if I maybe our thieves escaped this way.”

“Yeah,” Judy replied in a flat voice, not even turning to look at him, “You do that. Hope you find something.”

“Me too,” Nick said, scurrying to his feet and speed-walking to the entryway with the pawprint lifting kit in his grasp. Once he turned the corner, he took a few more steps down the hall, halfway toward the elevator before stopping and putting the investigation kit on the floor. He decided that since he was far enough away from Judy and the curator, there seemed no point in holding back. In his mind, he figured if he could allow his anus one unrestrained push, he could blast the worst of his building gas out and buy himself some substantial time before another urge arose. With his bushy tail lifting up, Nick leaned forward and raised his left leg off the floor, closing his eyes and giving his rectum a strong push.

**_Pfffrrrrrrap-pluup_ **

“Ahh, God,” Nick muttered both from the volume of his fart and the force it sent through his behind when it erupted past his cheeks. The spicy odor of his gas hit his face again, making him shake his head in disgust. “Cripes, that reeks. Hope the smell doesn’t start clinging to my tail,” he said, shaking the bushy collection of red hair with a black tip behind him in an effort to fan away the lingering fumes. His legs shook just a bit from the release of the tension he’d harbored, but still felt a small pocket lingering behind the orifice under his tail. Nick was about to give himself another push to get rid of it, before a new sensation made itself apparent. 

In line behind the bubble, Nick felt something more firm and solid yearning for release. After three days of his meals taking an extended stay in his bowels, they’d decided now was the time to check out. Nick felt tempted to give the slightest push just to get rid of the gas in front of his waste, but feared that it might initiate a domino effect and lead to him releasing his load in his uniform pants. Adding to his dread, Nick could feel a tingling rush building within his groin, poking behind his penis. Though Judy had good intentions on keeping him hydrated, he now regretted guzzling the whole bottle of water down in a few minutes, especially after his morning cup of coffee.

_ Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom! _ Nick’s mind exclaimed, his tail clamping down over his butt with his teeth clenched together,  _ Where’s a bathroom!?  _ His eyes glanced down the hallway past the elevator, not seeing any sign for a bathroom whatsoever. Feeling a sense of urgency build within him, Nick turned about and walked back into the Renaissance room, making a hasty stroll toward Judy who shined a blacklight across the floor in front of the empty case. 

“Judy, I need a bathroom,” Nick whispered to her, unable to hide the desperation in his voice, “I’m about to lose it.”

“Then go!” Judy whispered back, “Don’t waste time telling me, just hurry up and ask the curator where one is.”

Grimacing slightly, Nick stepped away from Judy and to the other end of the wall, where he’d seen Dr. Orshack exit. He took a moment to use what strength he had to compose himself, and not give off the visual of a cub crossing his legs and asking an adult for a potty. 

“Hey, Doc?” Nick said, Placing his paws on his hips and straightening his posture in front of the zebra who’d kept busy on his phone, “Mind telling me where I can find a restroom?”

“There’s a number of restrooms on each floor,” Dr. Orshack said,much to Nick’s relief, “However there’s just one working right now, and it’s not on this floor.”

“Seriously!?” Nick asked, before clearing his throat, “Um, any reason why?”

“On the rare occasion that I need to close the museum, I always make sure to shut off the plumbing for the majority of the place. No sense in wasting water if nobody’s buying tickets and using them, right?”

_ Oh come on, you couldn’t have kept at least one bathroom working on each floor!?  _ Nick screamed internally, wishing for all the world he could say that to the curator in front of him. Another twinge between his legs and a poke at his butthole reminded him now wasn’t a good time to argue about how to run a museum or its facilities. “Right, okay. So, where’s the one that does work in this place?”

“First floor, down the hall; across from the prehistoric exhibit,” Orshack clarified. Nick felt a slight bit of panic building at the knowledge of how far he’d have to travel to get to a toilet, but knew that he shouldn’t squander what little time he had left before he lost control. 

“Got it, thanks,” Nick said, stepping back into the room of paintings and other artifacts. Once he’d stepped across the room out of Judy’s view, Nick broke into a full run down the hall and toward the elevator, mashing the button fast as he could until the silver doors opened. He dashed inside and pressed the button for the first floor, watching the doors close before the device made its slow descent downward. 

“Come on!” Nick pleaded out loud, squeezing his furry red forearms between his legs and squeezing his butt closed with all his might. He wasn’t sure if the cameras taken offline by the thieves had included the ones in the elevator, but he didn’t care anymore. He could feel himself growing more desperate with each second that ticked by, the pocket of gas and solid log knocking with fury at his backdoor while the dam of his penis struggled to hold back the torrent of his full bladder. With his paws tucked between his legs and his tail clenched over his behind, Nick hunched over and bounced on his heels, letting out a feeble whine and praying that he’d reach the first floor soon.

After what seemed an eternity of sluggish descent, the doors of the elevator opened, Nick scurrying his way through before they’d retracted all the way. Bouncing on his feet, Nick looked both ways to get a sense of where he was. Straight in front of him and a few yards from the front entrance was the circular pit that Bellwether’s goons had knocked he and Judy into more than a year ago. The two had put on the performance of a lifetime in order to trick the corrupt mayor revealing her conspiracy to use the nighthowler serum to start a species war within Zootopia. He remembered running off to the left with Judy, past a few paintings of cave-mammals, along with life-size statues of animals on all fours before they’d taken a step toward evolution. If the prehistoric section was to the left, that meant the restrooms had to be on the right. 

Nick turned his head and felt overwhelming joy at the black sign on the wall, showing a white outline of a tie on the left, and a dress on the right. A toilet was just one yard away from him, just when he needed it most. Nick scampered across the hall, envisioning himself bursting through a stall door, yanking his pants and underwear down before dropping his red hindquarters onto a porcelain seat, and letting his body do what it needed to do without any reservation. 

His joy was cut short when he approached the side of the hall with the tie over the door, seeing the entryway held open by a large wagon lined with cleaning supplies on the side. Near the wagon stood a yellow plastic sign almost the size of Nick himself, reading “Closed for Cleaning”. 

“No!” Nick muttered under his breath, struggling to refix his grip on his groin and sphincter after he’d teased himself with the idea of imminent relief. To know that he’d come so close to a toilet only to have it denied at the last moment multiplied his urgency more than before. Nick had to lean his head down while he squeezed his paws between his legs, tapping his foot and begging his body not to give up the fight just yet. “Uh, excuse me?” Nick asked, looking over the wagon blocking his path, “How much longer you gonna be in there?”

“Just started,” a disgruntled female voice called out to him, “Probably another ten or fifteen minutes.” A soft whine escaped Nick’s throat in response to the woman’s claim. Fifteen minutes? He wasn’t even sure if he had five to spare before his muscles gave out and emptied a mess into his pants from both ends. 

“Ah-a-any way you could pause and let me get in there?  I promise I won’t take long.”

“Not happening,” she replied, “I’m not gonna spend fifteen minutes in here smelling what you dropped in one of the toilets.”

“Well… what if I just have to pee?” Nick begged, feeling bad for lying, but knowing he had limited options at the moment. 

“I’m not cleaning a urinal that you literally just used, especially if you pick one that I just got done cleaning.”

“It’s kind of an urgent, ma’am! And this is the only bathroom that works in the whole building!”

“Tough. Either hold it like an adult, or go find a building next door to us that has an open bathroom. Not my problem you waited too long.”

Nick ground his teeth against one another, wanting to yell something back at her, before another twinge of his penis and jab at his butthole told him he couldn’t afford to wait any longer. He sprinted away from the bathroom and into the main hall, bouncing between both his feet with his eyes toward the front entrance. Though it was just a few yards away, it might as well have been several miles. Nick knew he couldn’t take more than a few steps out the door and down the stairs before his body surrendered to his impending need. 

He could envision the mortifying sequence of events played in his head - frozen on the steps for a few seconds, his bladder would throw in the towel and release the rush of warm yellow liquid, causing a dark wet patch to flow down his legs and drip around his ankles. The sudden feeling of accidental relief would trigger his bowels to follow, forcing his body to bend over and push against his will. Even with the sturdiness of his pants causing resistance, his body would squeeze out the load he’d carried for so long, making a loud squelching sound from his filth compressing itself into a ball against his butt. Any mammal walking by at the moment would see Officer Nick Wilde standing on the stone stairs with glistening wet and smelly, bulging pants.  He would have to walk across the park with his load squished against his cheeks back to the ZPD to get himself cleaned up; provided he didn’t cower into his car and drive home sitting his red butt against his flattened mess with the windows down. 

_ This can’t be happening!  _ Nick screamed within his mind, knowing he had less than a minute before the timer at both ends of his body hit zero,  _ There’s gotta be another way. Come on, street hustler, think of something! _

Looking away from the door, Nick’s eyes fell on the pit he’d noticed before, and thought back to when he and Judy had put on their act of him turning savage and Judy fleeing for her life. He remembered part of his charade was to crawl through the tall grass, hiding the majority of his body before he skulked out and make it seem as if he were about to make a meal out of the rabbit before him. 

Nick crept over to the edge of the pit and looked downward. Just as he remembered, there indeed stood several patches of grass that appeared tall enough to hide a fox his size. He’d have to crouch and keep his head low, but from where he stood, it seemed like it would provide enough cover. Despite the fact that nobody was there at the time, Nick still felt hesitant about the idea. If anyone happened to look down from the upper floors, or if someone like the cleaning lady walked by and looked in, he’d be a dead mammal. Another pulse through his loins and his bottom activated something akin a fight or flight mode within his mind: it was either in the fake grass with his pants down, or in his pants themselves. 

_ Fake grass it is,  _ Nick relented, pulling his paws away from his groin for a moment so he could crouch down and lower himself past the edge of the pit. His small size prevented him from touching his feet to the ground from where he hung, forcing him to let go and drop a few feet onto the ground. Landing on his feet caused the most intense spasm through his body he’d felt in his life, and he had to use every ounce of willpower he had not to let go right where he stood. A few seconds passed, and Nick prevailed yet again for the moment; however, the drop had cut his time from about thirty seconds of holding it to less than ten seconds. 

“Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God,” Nick muttered as he sprinted to the grass, taking a few steps in until he reached the back of the patch against the wall of the pit, “This is gonna be a photo finish.” Nick turned himself around and hurriedly unfastened his button before unzipping his fly, followed by a fierce downward tug of his navy pants and white briefs. Nick stood with the red fur of his slender legs exposed, along with the trim, cream fur or his balls between his thighs and the round sheath underneath his belly of the same color. Nick squatted down, bending his knees and sticking his toned red bottom outward while his tail lifted high above the quivering dark gray flesh of his anus. Nick took a breath as his red penis poked out of his sheath, getting ready to let the walls behind the shaft down to unleash the torrent within, before he cut himself off with the sudden realization of something. 

“Oh crap, wait wait wait wait!” he muttered under his breath frantically, “This feels like it’s gonna be a huge stream; I might end up spraying on my pants.” Standing up, Nick pulled his feet out of the leg holes of his pants, moving them to the right and out of the direction his privates faced. “Okay, here we go; no regrets Wilde.” Nick muttered once he squatted again, resting his paws on his knees and giving his body the go ahead to relax his muscles without restraint. 

**_Pluuuupt_ ** _.  _

Nick’s anus emitted a short sputtering fart, releasing the final bubble of gas standing between his rectum and the beginning of the dump he’d wanted to get rid of for three days straight. Starting off with a gentle push at the back, his bladder jumped the gun on his bowels, and the pointed tip of his shaft released a gush of liquid with enough force to create an upward arc reaching the height of his knees. 

“Ahhh…” Nick exhaled with the pressure he’d held back beginning to dissipate. He watched the stream shooting from his penis splatter against the grass in front of him, darkening the base of the blades from the puddle forming on the ground. He noticed that the liquid pouring outward was a medium dark gold as opposed to its usual pale yellow color. That and the fact that it felt slightly hot upon leaving his shaft confirmed Judy’s suspicions, that he had fallen below what was considered healthy hydration. Along with the ammonia of his urine, he could even smell some of the robust flavor of the coffee he’d drunk earlier. 

While the arc of his stream continued full force, Nick felt the tip of his log poking behind his anus without any gas impeding its path, but its pace halted just when the dark brown tip breached the outer rim and revealed its head to the outside world. Despite his urgency to release the obstruction within his colon, the size of it had grown massive and its lengthy stay inside his body had dried it out, making for a rather hard and knobby log. 

“Hmm...mmph,” Nick curled his lips inward and grunted as he pulled his stomach in and gave his rectum a strong push. The force of his urine stream increased from the pressure on his prostate, making his penis tilt upward and letting the flow of yellow spray over the tips of the tall grass.”Come on… unnngh-aaah.”

With a considerable amount of pushing, the flesh of Nick’s butthole spread open, giving way to the knobby, fat dark-brown head of the turd that had agitated his backside for the past few minutes. Despite his legs shaking from the force exerted down below, the uneven surface of the turd inched out at an agonizingly slow pace. The stream of his pee lowered in volume for a moment while Nick took a breath, his turd with a clear split in the middle halting its movement with only an inch sticking out of him. 

“Geez louise,” he muttered, “First it feels like I’m gonna crap my pants, and now I’m struggling to get it out?” Taking another breath, Nick bore his teeth together and grunted through them, another push making the rigid brown log resume its steady course out of him. A few inches out and nearing the ground, some more splits were visible along the upper side of the log. Without the sound of his urine spraying against the leaves and ground, Nick could hear a bit of trapped air escaping from the cracks of his log, along with the squish of it sliding out his butthole. Some of the knobs at the end fell away from the turd, and few seconds later, the firm log touched the ground below, without breaking away from Nick’s butthole stretched wide open.

“Hoh… ho, boy,” Nick muttered as he felt a wave rush through his bowels and to his open rectum. Before he even planned to, his body gave an involuntary push, coaxing more of the lengthy turd to emerge. The color of the mass began to take a lighter shade of brown as it made its way out, while the pace of its exit gradually accelerated. The sturdy form of the turd prodded the inner walls of Nick’s rectum, tickling the sensitive nerves within the spongy flesh. He felt a tingling surge course through his body, a combination of the steady lightening of the weight in his stomach and the impressive stretch of his asshole, along with the force exerted onto his prostate from pushing so hard. He could feel his face burn as he closed his eyes and lost himself to the building tingle growing within his body. 

“Nnng… aahhh!” Nick moaned at full volume at an octave that could have rivaled what Judy was capable of reaching when she felt his knot spread her open. He lifted his paws to his mouth on reaction, terrified that his sudden outburst might have alerted Judy or the curator, or most likely the cleaning woman just a few yards across the hall. Some feeble whimpers still escaped his throat behind his paws covering his mouth. He struggled to keep silent from the bliss of his colon dropping the weight he’d carried for days, along with the immense stretch of his anus from pushing out such a load. A few seconds passed without any following noise, putting Nick’s fears slightly at ease. 

He began to push again, with considerably less effort than he’d needed to exert before. Now that he’d passed the dried out head, the rest of his log seemed softer and moist, picking up more and more speed while it folded over the thick head he’d already dropped. Feeling the tail end of his poop begin to thin, Nick gave another strong push to force the rest of it out, the opposite tip of the log as skinny as one of his claws. The skinny end of the log fell away from his anus, Nick shuddered from the snap of the weight dropping from his puckered hole, prompting a deep sigh of relief. 

“Haah… haah…” Nick breathed from exhaustion, his butthole still twitching from the strain his body had put it through. With a flex of his muscles, he forced himself to retract his sphincter and felt a bit of slickness along the inside of his butthole. Another small twinge poked inside his bladder, prompting him to relax his groin and let a second stream of urine shoot through his penis. It was much weaker than before, shooting at a diagonal path in front of him and splashing the blades of grass right at the base in the ground. While he resumed peeing, yet another shift in his gut moved into his rectum, creating an urge to push that wasn’t quite as strong as before, but still hard to ignore. 

“Man, is this dump ever gonna end?” Nick asked as his anus flexed. He could feel his feet and ankles growing tired, having supported his weight for an amount of time that he’d lost track of. Shifting his weight from his feet to his knees, Nick’s trim butt cheeks remained a number of inches above his calves with his tail still high in the air above his slick butthole. 

He gave another push through his anus from his new stance to expel the lingering waste within him, and his gluteus muscles shifted underneath the coat of red fur along his buttocks. Nick grunted from his effort, keeping his mouth closed to avoid anyone potentially nearby hearing him. Nick kept his paw over his mouth as his grunts rose an octave from the pleasure of the second turd emerging without any resistance, its form soft and mushy enough to slide out of his butthole with ease. It wasn’t anywhere close to diarrhea, but had the consistency of squeezing chunky peanut butter through a plastic tube, leaving a thick collection of smudge along the rim of his anus upon it emergence. Its form lacked the firmness to stay in one piece, falling into several inch-long chunks upon exiting Nick’s anus. What felt like another thirty seconds passed of Nick pushing while on his knees and his urine slowing to a steady drip, and the last little nugget of excrement dropping onto the pile between his calves. Even after his colon had been cleared, his anus continued to pulse and push, under a spell from the euphoria of emptying his guts, similar to how his dick would flare after a good ejaculation. 

“Hoh… my… God…” Nick muttered in a daze, his eyes half closed while he stood on his knees petrified, “That felt… so good.” Still trembling from the euphoria of his butthole’s release, Nick reached down to his red dick and gave it a shake with his right paw, loosening up some of the drops of urine still clinging on. With his daze wearing off and his senses returning to normal, the fox’s purple nostrils flexed as the stench of what he’d released registered with his brain. Much to his surprise, Nick didn’t find the smell as repulsive as he’d thought he would. While not the most pleasant smell on Earth, the bittersweet aroma of what he’d released had a somewhat alluring charm to it as its invisible fumes danced in front of his nose. 

With the smell of his droppings arousing his curiosity, Nick turned his head back and pushed his hips forward, out of the way of the brown pile underneath him. He knew he shouldn’t look, that his time would have been better spent leaving the additional crime scene he’d created in the museum. He couldn’t fight his morbid curiosity however and his eyes ventured downward, pulling his tail up to give himself a clearer view of the ground. “Whoa…” he muttered upon viewing what lay below him. 

Just a few inches from the wall of the pit he’d crawled into laid every inch of the pile he’d carried in his bowels for the past three days. At the bottom laid the fattest turd, about half a foot in size, a dark brown at one end while lightening in color on the other end. He noticed the other side had a stringy severed appearance to it, most likely where it had broken off from the other portion of his dump. On top of the thickest log rested a coiled up pile of the softer one, much lighter in color and chunkier throughout its smaller form. He couldn’t make a precise observation, but Nick guessed that resting underneath his red hindquarters was about one and a quarter feet of poop, still giving off a rather strong, freshly dropped odor.

“Holy snails,” Nick gasped from the sight of his pile underneath him, “I’ve been carrying that around this whole time? God, no wonder I’ve felt so sluggish.” Turning away and taking in a breath, Nick relished in the absence of the weight in his stomach. It felt empty and clear, giving him an almost weightless feeling overall. Despite his reluctance to relieve himself on museum property, he couldn’t help but relish in the bliss of his weightless intestines at the moment. 

His joy was cut short though when he dropped his tail, moving his buttcheeks just enough to feel the wet sensation still lining on and around his anus. He couldn’t see it himself, but in between his sturdy and round cheeks, a layer of brown sludge lined the central crater and the outer rim of his once gray butthole. A new sense of dread overcame Nick as once he realized he’d not planned for how to wipe himself after he’d pushed out his large and stinking load. He looked around the area, searching for anything that could make for a substitution of toilet paper. His thoughts were cut short by the static chirp of his walkie buzzing to life before the voice of his partner came out of the receiver. 

“ _ Officer Wilde, what’s your twenty? I mean, _ ” Judy cut herself off with a bit of apprehension, “ _ I mean, if you’re in a place where you’re able to… over. _ ”

Nick felt hesitant to answer. He could have told her that he was still “busy” which would have been true in a way, but that might have prompted her to come down to the first floor and stand by the restroom, waiting for him to step out. His paw still shaking, Nick reached for his pants and picked up his walkie, pushing the button on the side so he could speak. 

“I’m fine, Judy — Officer Hopps,” Nick corrected himself, “My twenty… uh, I’m in the, uh…” Nick’s eyes moved from side to side, desperately thinking of a location to tell them, “Colonial District. Over.”

“ _ The Colonial District? Hang on; Mr., I mean, Dr. Orshack, where’s the Colonial District? _ ”

“ _ That would be on the second floor, along with the Industrial Breakthrough _ ,” the voice of the curator replied, making Nick’s ears fall back in fear.

“ _ What are you doing on the second floor? Over _ .” 

“Uh, you know, just — can’t ever be too thorough with an investigation, right? Over.”

“ _ I guess? Anyway, make your way to the elevator, Dr. Orshack and I will meet you on that floor _ .”

“No!” Nick screamed as his ears fell against his head, before clamping his paws over his muzzle, “I-I mean, just, how about if I meet you guys where you are? Over.”

“ _ We’re still on the third floor, Wilde. I’ve swept all the areas of note above here, and found a few more traces of who might have done this.There’s no reason for us to stay here, so we’re leaving. We might as well come down to you, instead of you coming up to us just so we can go back down, right? Over.”  _

“Hopps, just trust me, okay?” Nick asked, still surveying the area for something to wipe with, “It’ll be better if I come up to you guys. I promise. Over.”

“ _... Okay, fine. We’ll wait up here, in front of the elevator on the third floor. Over and out _ .”

Nick put his walkie down, relieved that such an awkward conversation had at last ended. Much to his dismay, nothing in the immediate area seemed suitable to clean the filth between his cheeks. The blades of grass were too thin and risked him getting some of the mess on his paws. The leaves around him were even smaller, and covered in dirt that he didn’t want clinging to his anus anyway. With nothing to wipe with, Nick took a reluctant gulp, knowing he only had one option in front of him.. 

He stood up to his feet, taking care not to step in the puddle of his urine in front of him or the brown pile behind him, and bent over to pick up his pants. He put his feet through the legholes of his underwear and pants, and with a fearful gulp, Nick pulled them up over his lean posterior. The slipperiness between his cheeks made a chill run up his spine, making him worry that the slightest movement might leave a brown mark on his briefs. After buckling his belt into place, Nick looked up at the edge of the pit above him, seeing that it was too tall for him to climb out of. He wasn’t able to jump as high as his rabbit partner, but he still had some power in his legs that could bounce him to a respectable height. Squatting down to gain some leverage, Nick felt his underwear brush over his buttcrack, and the sludge over his butthole squish between his cheeks. 

_ If there’s anything I need right now, it’s for my underwear to at least make it out of this unscathed _ , Nick pleaded, before leaping up high and grabbing onto the edge of the pit. It took some effort, but Nick’s training in the academy had granted him the strength to pull his own weight upward, allowing him to peek over the edge and look through the main hall of the museum. From where he hung, he could still see the edge of the wagon the janitor had used to block off his path to a proper bathroom. He felt surprised that he’d been down in the pit with his pants off for less than fifteen minutes, but remained grateful nonetheless. He turned his head from left to right and perked his ears up to look and listen for signs of anyone possibly nearby. Ensuring the coast was clear, Nick pulled himself up and climbed over the edge, then stood to his feet to straighten out his shirt and tie. Putting his paws behind his back, Nick lifted his eyes and whistled carelessly, while strolling with haste toward the elevator. 

Following a lengthy ascent back to the third floor, the doors opened to show Judy and the curator waiting outside. Judy looked up from her notebook toward the fox, a look of confusion and slight annoyance on her face. 

“Ayy,” Nick greeted with an open-mouthed grin, pointing his digits toward both of them. Judy closed her eyes and shook her head. 

“Guess we’re going down then,” Judy said when she pushed the button for the first floor, “Past the floor that you were just on.”

“Yup,” Nick replied, not even giving her a chance to revive the disagreement they’d had before. 

“So, did you find anything on that floor while you were there?”

“That’s a negatory, Hopps,” Nick said, putting his paws back into his pockets while the elevator began its descent. 

“I’d imagine you wouldn’t,” Judy replied, “Considering you didn’t come back up for your investigation kit.”

To Nick’s dread, he’d just now noticed that Judy carried two bags on her shoulder, the bags they’d brought with them containing their crime scene investigation kits. He’d completely forgotten that he’d left it in the hallway upstairs when he’d left the crime scene in order to expel the agonizing gas assaulting his butthole. Without the kit at his disposal, Nick realized how shady his story about further investigation seemed now. 

“Oh… well, uh…” Nick stammered, as Judy passed him the bag and he slung it over his shoulders, “Sometimes all that tech can get in the way. Sometimes it’s better to look with your own two eyes. You know how they say that sometimes the hardest clues to find hide in plain sight?”

“I guess in this case they weren’t, since you didn’t find anything.”

“Yeah, not in this case,” Nick shrugged. After several seconds, the elevator finally opened to grant the trio passage back to the first floor. With every step Nick took, Nick could feel the squish of his unwiped bottom sliding and pressing against itself, making his insides twist with anxiousness. He thanked his lucky stars that the residue wasn’t strong enough for either Judy or Dr. Orshack to smell in the elevator, but he still felt apprehensive about getting too close to them. Adding to his anxiousness, Nick’s ears picked up the sound of wheels rolling from his left, and looked to see the same wagon that had blocked off the restroom rolling through the hallway, pushed from behind by a female hedgehog, dressed in a uniform as drabby as the swine who’d let them in earlier that morning. Nick made sure that no matter which direction he looked, it wasn’t toward her, just in case it might tip her off about where he’d relieved himself in place of the men’s room. 

“Well officers, I’m more than grateful for your investigation,” Dr. Orshack said as he approached the doors with them, “Even more grateful you found some evidence to give you a lead.”

“Well, all it’s going to do is tell us what species we’re looking for,” Judy replied, “It’s still going to be tough to track down a name and location from there. But we’ll keep you in the loop if we find anything substantial.”

“I appreciate it,” Dr. Orshack said upon shaking Judy’s paw. He reached for Nick’s paw, the fox feeling a bit of guilt for shaking his hoof without washing his paw after using it to shake his penis following the massive leak he’d taken. “You both have a great day.”

“Thanks Doc, you too,” Nick said, strutting past Judy and out the door quick as he could. Judy gave a final wave before stepping outside, then directed her gaze toward Nick and eyeing him with suspicion once the zebra turned away.

“Okay, Slick-Nick,” she began with an accusatory tone, “What’s going on?”

“What-what do you mean?” Nick asked, doing his best to feign the illusion of innocence. 

“I mean, you tell me and the curator you’re going to find a bathroom on the first floor, then you report to me that you went to the second floor to investigate without your kit.  _ Then _ you urged us to stay on the third floor for you to come up and meet us, just for us to go back down. Something about your story doesn’t add up.” Judy continued to study his posture, and Nick offered her a clueless shrug, playing the fool to avoid giving her any answers. “Well, you seemed to be in a better mood in the elevator than when we first got here. Did you finally get to make good use of a toilet then?” Nick opened his mouth to reply, then paused while he thought of the best way to word his statement. 

“Did I find some much needed relief after being plugged up for three days straight?” Nick asked, “Yes. Yes I did. And I feel much better now, thank you.” Judy began to smile, but then froze before her face turned to one of suspicion. 

“Don’t pull that on me, Nick,” Judy said unamused, “You taught me that trick, that ‘Respond to a question with your own question and then answer that question’ thing. What are you keeping from me?”

Nick felt his insides twist with guilt and embarrassment when his mistake slapped him in the face. With his teeth exposed and wincing with fear, he began to rub his paws together before dragging them over his face. 

“Okay. So,” Nick began, his discomfort making it hard for him to tell her the story flat out, “I did come down to the first floor to use the bathroom, but this cleaning woman refused to let me in because she didn’t want to stop what she was doing. I was more than desperate by that point, and I knew I wouldn’t make it out the door to another building, so…”

“So…?” Judy asked, her eyebrows lifting up when she began to piece together the direction of his story.

“You remember that pit we fell into a year ago, where we put on our performance and tricked Bellwether into revealing her devious plans against predators?” Judy’s eyes widened and she put her paws over her mouth, looking at Nick with the same look of shock and disbelief she’d had upon looking at the Mystic Springs Oasis for the first time. 

“No. You. Didn’t,” Judy muttered, keeping her tone low even though the mammals passing by were a yard away and down the flight of stone stairs, “Nick. Don’t tell me you did that.”

“Okay. I won’t tell you I did that.”

“Did you seriously do that?”

“You said not to tell you.” 

“Nick!”

“Yes, I did, Carrots,” Nick admitted with a bit of anger rising in his voice, “I took a dump in the prehistoric pit, because I was running out of time and didn’t want to crap my pants, okay?”

“Are you kidding me!?” Judy scolded in a tone that reminded him of when his mother had discovered he’d broken some expensive pottery from his reckless behavior, “They’re gonna find that at some point!”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t mean they’re gonna trace it back to me!”

“You were the only one on the first floor, and I have a feeling that Dr. Orshack won’t think it was me, or one of the few employees he has working here today!”

“Well then maybe he’ll think one of the criminals did it? Like on their way out, they decided to ‘mark’ the place they’d just stolen from, just to rub some salt in the wound?”

“Oh, sweet cheese and crackers,” Judy groaned while she rubbed her temples, “Was the women’s bathroom closed too?”

“Ah… I don’t think so,” Nick replied, thinking back to the moment when he was holding himself in front of the yellow sign and custodial wagon in front of the men’s room. From what he could remember, he didn’t see anything of the sort in front of the women’s bathroom right next to him. 

“Why didn’t you just go in there then? I mean, the whole museum was closed, nobody was gonna walk in on you except maybe me, or the janitor if she hadn’t cleaned that one already; but even then you could have had an excuse as to why you had to go in there.”

“That… would have been a good idea. Really wish I’d thought of that before,” he admitted in shame while rubbing his right paw against the fur of his left forearm, while Judy’s ears dropped behind her head and she slapped a paw over her eyes, “Hey, I was desperate, okay? I wasn’t exactly in the best state of mind for rational thinking.”

“What did you even use to wipe with?” Judy asked, lifting her paw to her eyebrows to look at him again. 

“Well, fake grass and leaves don’t exactly make for good toilet paper, so…” Again Judy shot him another look of shock, her mouth hanging open in disbelief. 

“You didn’t even wipe?” Judy asked, her eyes swerving down to look toward Nick’s tail.

“No I didn’t,” Nick replied, “And it feels uncomfortable enough without you staring down towards it, so could you get off my unwiped ass please?”

Judy’s mouth shut tight, and she turned her head away from Nick, toward the park at the center of Savanna Central. She closed her eyes and put her left paw in front of her mouth, balling it into a fist as she took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. After several seconds of silence, Judy opened her eyes, still keeping them away from Nick. 

“Okay. Here’s what’s gonna happen,” Judy said in an annoyed but composed tone, “We’ll walk back the ZPD. You’re gonna go into the bathroom and take care of…  _ that _ . Then we’ll present our evidence to the chief. After we’re given the all-clear by him, we’ll continue our shift like normal. We’re not gonna make an issue out of this. Okay?”

“Sounds good, Judy,” Nick replied, the two of them climbing their way down the stone steps of the museum and toward the park. Every step Nick took brought more and more discomfort between Nick’s cheeks, the sludge bringing an itchy sensation from beginning to dry somewhat. Nick wanted so badly to get to the bathroom across the town square, but he knew it would be in his best interest for he and Judy to stroll across the way like nothing was wrong. Despite his request from before, he still noticed Judy’s eyes wandering down to his backside. Much as it embarrassed him, he didn’t blame her; it was sort of a hard thing to ignore now that he’d made her aware of it. He imagined her thoughts plagued with revolting images of his beautiful gray foxhole now tainted with a brown lining of filth that he’d pushed out, spreading through the inside of his cheeks with each step he took. The two remained silent until they reached the ZPD, Judy motioning Nick to follow her toward the employee parking side of the building and checking to make sure nobody else was near them.

“Look, Nick, I just want to clarify something,” Judy began, her voice much softer than a few minutes ago, she and Nick putting their bag of supplies down for the moment, “You know I’m not mad at you, right?”

“Sure sounded like you were,” Nick reputed with his arms crossed.

“I know it did, and I’m sorry. I’m not  _ mad  _ at you. I’m… scared,” she admitted, her ears still drooping behind her head, “I’m scared because you just broke a number of laws in a matter of minutes, and the fact that you’re a police officer makes it even worse. If the press gets wind of this, it’ll follow you for the rest of your life, not to mention what’ll happen with Bogo. He already established this morning that you’re not his favorite officer, and he’s fired mammals just for arriving to work one minute late. This could be just the thing he needs to demand your badge and never have to deal with you again. If you get fired… I don’t know what I’d do,” Judy said, her ears falling behind her head, “We both worked so hard to get you through the academy and get that badge on you. I don’t want to think about having to work here without you alongside me.”

Nick’s frustration melted away upon looking at Judy’s dismal face. Despite their spat in front of the museum, he knew she had his best interests at heart. Thinking it over, he understood her initial reaction to what he’d told her. She was surprised, scared and frantic all at once, and her response had come off as anger when she was just worried. 

“I get it, Judy,” Nick said, “I’m not taking it personally.” A weak smile appeared on Judy’s face when she looked up at him.

“No hard feelings?” she asked.

“None,” Nick replied. Judy stepped forward, giving him a big hug above his waist. Nick leaned down to do the same, noticing her short, poofy white tail shaking from side to side. “Can I go wipe myself now, Carrots?”

“Oh, right, yeah,” Judy said after she jumped away with her ears shooting upright, “Yeah, let’s — you take care of that.”

The two officers picked up their bags again and walked along the side of the wall until they reached the doors to the department, entering the facilities and looking about. The usual morning traffic hadn’t lessened much since they’d left. A mess of officers strolled about the place, making inquiries with other officers about their cases or speeding toward the front door to answer distress calls. Making their way down the hall, Clawhauser gave the two of them a wave from behind his desk. Nick grumbled under his breath when Judy stepped toward the desk with a friendly smile on her face. 

“Remember Nick,” Judy whispered without facing him, “Act casual.”

“Hey you two!” Clawhauser said as he leaned over the desk, “Find any evidence at the museum?”

“Sure did,” Judy said with cheer, “Found some fur, some chippings from the painting they stole on the other side of the third floor. Even found some debris from outside along the edges of the window, possibly showing how the criminal made their escape.”

“Whoa, nice work! Pretty soon we’re gonna have to call you Detectives Hopps and Wilde instead of Officers.” Nick had kept silent during their exchange, until he found the eyes of Judy and Clawhauser on him, waiting for a response. 

_ Oh crap, _ Nick thought as he wracked his brain for a something to add,  _ Casual, casual… what would casual Nick say? What would a Nick who didn’t just take a dump in the museum without wiping his butt say? _ The fox shrugged his shoulders and forced a smug half-smile on his face. 

“Well, I wouldn’t be too quick to give Hopps that promotion,” Nick scoffed, “I’m the one who did most of the investigating. Carrots  _ helped _ .” Judy looked back at him with a look of mock-offense, which he responded to with a playful wink.

“Oh-M-Goodness,” Clawhauser said with a laugh, “You guys are too funny. You’re perfect for each other.” Their smiles dropped in an instant at Clawhauser’s comment, even while the cheetah continued to laugh, “Anyway, good job. I’m sure the chief’s gonna be thrilled to hear you found something.”

“Chief Bogo? Thrilled? Pft,” Nick chuckled, “Since when is he ever thrilled about anything?” Clawhauser shook his head with a smile as the two officers walked away from the dispatch desk, Judy turning to face Nick.

“Nice performance,” Judy praised, “It was just good enough to fool Clawhauser.”

“Oh please,” Nick said dismissively, “You think I spent years hustling Zootopians without being a darn good actor?”

“Yeah yeah, stroke your ego all you want. But do it in there while you’re tending to your butt,” Judy whispered when they approached the bathrooms, “Speaking of which, I ought to do that myself. “

“I’m sorry?” Nick asked with surprise.

“I’m gonna go take a dump,” Judy answered nonchalantly, “I don’t want to get caught short and put my own career in danger like you did.” 

Nick tried to form a rebuttal, but his eyes remained stuck on Judy’s ample hindquarters as she made her way to the women’s bathroom and disappeared behind the door. Despite the awkwardness of the past few minutes between them, the fox found some comfort in his mind conjuring up very specific images from the simple statement his girlfriend had just made. He began to imagine Judy’s tight little butthole staying rigid, holding back a solid brown mass poking behind the squishy flesh in the hopes of making its way out of her round, supple posterior. Shaking the tantalizing image from his mind, Nick stepped behind the door of the men’s bathroom, seeing only Officer Johnson washing his paws at one of the taller sinks. Hearing his footsteps, Johnson gave Nick a familiar nod before stepping toward the blowdryer to dry his wet paws. 

Nick took the first stall next to the urinals, knowing it was the smallest size available compared to the toilets that grew bigger and bigger for the more sizable officers, and put his supply bag down. Even the smallest seat, one designed for a pig’s average size, was still too big for Nick to properly sit his slender red butt on. Like Judy, he was not a fan of using the toilets at the ZPD because they’d not gotten around to installing toilets for bodies of their size. On the few days he’d needed to relieve himself in a pinch, he’d had to climb onto the seat and sit on the side, clutching onto the toilet paper holster to balance himself as he pushed his brown logs into the water below. 

He’d received the warning about the ZPD’s lack of smaller toilets from Judy herself once the department had accepted his application, telling him about the embarrassing moment of when she’d fallen in head first after an entire day of failing the academy’s trials in the first place. It wasn’t until they’d started dating and had become much more open with intimate details about each other that Judy revealed how she accommodated the seat being too big for her. Though Nick had never seen it before, his imagination did a well enough job creating the visual in his mind. 

He could picture Judy on the other side of the stall he was in now, her pants all the way off and standing on the back of toilet, leaning against the metal flusher. She’d have her posterior pointed outward toward the door, letting her stream of yellow spill out behind her and into the bowl with a loud and continuous trickle. From the same stance, she’d start grunting and pushing through her rectum, forcing out brown logs not much bigger than a bear’s little toe from underneath her fluffy round tail. From the height of her behind, each turd would drop a foot from her anus and make a slight plop from splashing into the water, making little droplets fly out below her. 

Nick fought off the creeping feeling building in his groin signaling his oncoming erection. He knew that he and Judy needed to get their evidence up to Bogo sooner rather than later, or else risk incurring more of the buffalo’s wrath. Feeling grateful that no other officers were in the room at the moment, Nick jumped to the toilet seat above him and scurried to the back, before undoing his fly and belt and letting hits pants drop to the porcelain below. Fortunately this time, Nick had no need to sit down to take care of his business, the one silver lining about the whole ordeal that had recently taken place. He looked down at his white briefs and groaned at what stared back at him. 

Just as he feared, he saw a big brown streak along the center, a thin and uneven diamond outline from how they’d squished between his cheeks and absorbed some of the sludge. He reached for the roll of toilet paper next to him and pulled off a bountiful helping before wadding it up in his paw. Nick reached back and pressed the paper just above his taint, dragging it upward between his stout cheeks, through the mess still covering his hole. He curled his digits to make the most use out of the wad he’d taken, then pulled it away and in front of him. 

Nick was met with the sight of a large splotch along the paper, a light brown and sticky mess in the center, surrounded by faded stains on the outside. Despite how much he’d wiped away, he could still feel some debris clinging to his hole and now some of his fur. Chucking the wad of paper into the toilet, Nick reached for another helping, but took the time to conjure up some saliva into his mouth and spit on the paper in his paw. With some moisture on the tissue, he managed to pick up the stubborn pieces of filth still clinging to him, showing a much less concentrated smear when he looked at it again. It took him two more pawfuls of wiping before his final inspection showed just a few dots of brown, and his bottom felt comfortably clean. Looking at the stain in his underwear again, Nick decided that it wasn’t worth keeping them if it meant wearing them around for the rest of his shift. He pulled the briefs out of his pants before pulling them back up, then flushed the toilet. He jumped down from the seat and out of the stall, then darted toward the trash receptacle under the paper towel dispenser. He jumped up and stuffed his stained briefs down the pile of papers, praying that the custodians didn’t notice the dirty underwear when they next took the trash out. 

With his butt clean and his underwear disposed of, Nick jumped up to the counter with the smallest sinks available and washed his paws. Rubbing a dollop of soap over his digits, he allowed himself to relax a little. The curator of the museum said the cameras had been taken offline, and nobody had seen him desecrate the exhibit. Even if they tried to pin that huge pile on him, they had no hard evidence to back it up, so he could just deny it up and down. While still a bit nervous, he kept telling himself he had nothing to worry about. 

After drying his paws, Nick stepped outside, a few seconds later hearing the women’s door open and seeing Judy step out herself. The two of them looked at each other, Judy putting her thumb against her digit and miming the act of zipping her smile shut. Nick returned the gesture, drawing his paw across his mouth as if sealing it tight. With their bags in tow, the two made their way to the elevator leading up to the second floor, where Bogo’s office was located. 

_ Done and done _ , Nick told himself as he waited outside the elevator, one that operated much faster than the one at the museum,  _ Put it out of your mind. Just leave it in the past. _

 

* * *

  
  


A pair of hooves clopped their way through the exhibits on the first floor, surveying every artifact and exhibit within the corridors. Dr. Zander Orshack still couldn’t wrap his head around how a thief or thieves had broken into his museum. It wasn’t lined with the same security that protected banks or government offices, but the city had paid good money to keep the place well-protected. From what he could see, no other precious valuables had gone missing; just the one painting and small artifacts on the third floor. 

_ Most likely because they could carry just so much in such a short time without being discovered _ , he thought to himself, pushing his glasses up to rest on his nose more properly,  _ They might return to collect more of what doesn’t belong to them. We’ll need to be more prepared rather soon.  _

Making his way to the main hall, he noticed one of his custodians standing over the edge of the prehistoric dome right in the middle of the floor.

“Everything alright, Mr. Rhinds?” Orshack asked, catching the pig’s attention.

“Not exactly, Doctor,” Rhinds replied, “You might want to — well, you won’t want to, but you ought to take a look at this.” The zebra furrowed his brows in curiosity. While he circled the dome, he hoped that what Rhinds had found was another piece of evidence that might help find the art thieves. “Down there, sir,” Rhinds said, pointing his miniature flashlight down to the bottom of the pit. At first Orshack had trouble processing what laid underneath the illumination of the flashlight. He wanted to believe that his mind was playing tricks on him, but a foul, stringent odor brushed along his snout and confirmed his fears. 

“What!?” the curator exclaimed after he covered his nose, “How on Earth did that get there?”

“Don’t know,” the custodian said, “I didn’t even notice it until I started mopping around here. Caught a whiff of something unpleasant, and much as I didn’t want to, followed my nose until it led me here and I found that.” 

Despite his reluctance, Orshack had trouble taking his eyes off of what laid in the prehistoric pit: a small pile of brown excrement, one dark and fat log underneath a light-colored skinner log coiled onto itself. Not only had he learned today that an exhibit had been stolen, but another one had been desecrated with someone’s feces. 

“Well that’s just great,” Orshack grumbled, tearing his eyes away from the pile down below, “Is this the criminals calling card or something? They steal something valuable, and then mark their territory as a sign of their triumph?”

“You know, I thought the same thing, sir. Then it occurred to me that if the thief relieved himself anywhere near the same time when the cameras went off, even a few hours afterward, the smell would have worn off by now. These smell somewhat fresh.”

“Fresh…?” The zebra paused, rubbing a hoof along his chin, “How fresh?”

“I’m no proctologist sir, but I’d guess within the last hour or two maybe?”

Orshack searched his mind for an explanation. He retraced the events of the last few hours, knowing the only attendants of the museum today were himself, two of his custodial staff, and Officers Hopps and Wilde to investigate the crime scene. Thinking it over, he remembered that officer Wilde had specifically asked him for a restroom, then headed to this very floor for the only working restroom in the building.

“Sir?” Rhinds asked, snapping the zebra from his thoughts, “Something on your mind?”

“Yes, actually,” the curator replied, before reaching into his cellphone, “I don’t want to start the blame game before we have evidence, but I think I know a good place to start.” Punching in a few numbers, Orshack held the phone to his ear and waited for someone on the other side to pick up.

“Hello, Zack?” he greeted the mammal on the other side, “I know I sent you home early after doing what you could with the cameras, but something else has just come up. Do you think you could come back and reboot the system, see if you can pull up some footage of the prehistoric pit in the last few hours? Hopefully it’s not one of the cameras that went offline, since it’s relatively new and operates on its own separate grid.”


	3. Chapter 3

The small bed with gray sheets that usually held the weight of the red fox until 7:20 am was for once empty twenty minutes ahead of the time. Sitting at his dining room table in a pair of boxer shorts and an old black t-shirt, the fox’s head leaned over a bowl of Boar Flakes doused in milk. His eyes remained half open while his paw moved at the speed of a sloth, dipping his spoon into the bowl and scooping up a helping of flakes. 

“You’re such a drama queen, Nick,” a voice said to him, before a gray paw placed a cup of coffee onto the table in front of him. Nick lifted his head to see the gray rabbit standing near the corner of the table, wearing a pair of tight-fitting lacy blue panties and a t-shirt that rested above her slim belly, “You act like you’re gonna die just because you woke up twenty minutes earlier.”

“I just might, Judy,” Nick replied with a mouthful of flakes, his eyes moving toward the cup Judy had slid across the table toward him, “Well, now that I have the elixir of life, I might get to live for a few more hours.”

“Remember, we’re cutting down on that today,” Judy reminded Nick when he grabbed the cup with more speed than he’d used to scoop his cereal up. Nick gave her a concurring nod, before blowing onto the top of the black liquid to cool it down, then taking a healthy sip. The bitterness of the drink slipped over his tongue and down his throat, bringing a soothing familiarity to his senses that perked his ears up along with his alertness. 

“Yeah, I getcha,” Nick said, before taking yet another sip,”One in the morning, one after lunch, right?”

“That’s right,” Judy replied, pouring a bowl of Boar Flakes for herself before stepping away toward the refrigerator in the kitchen with a white counter behind her and oak cabinets a few feet above her. Judy bent over to grab the carton of milk, Nick observing the center of her blue panties over her round gray buttocks. “And if you really  _ really  _ need it, you can get a small cup after work. But three is the absolute limit, okay?” Judy turned back toward Nick with the carton in her grasp, seeing he’d had his eyes on her rear the whole time. Judy lowered her brow at him, but shot him an endearing smirk, before reaching back to readjust her panties under her wagging cotton-tail and let them snap back into place. 

“Fair enough,” Nick said in a low voice, continuing to eat his cereal while Judy poured the milk into her bowl. 

“Hey, you alright?” Judy asked, “I know you’re tired, but you just don’t seem quite as jocular as usual.”

“Jocular? Heh, that’s a big word,” Nick replied, Judy still harboring a look of concern, “I’m still kind of fretting over yesterday. The whole museum thing. I know we got away before anyone found anything, and we didn’t hear about it for the rest of the day, but I just can’t shake it out of my mind.” Judy nodded with a slight smile on her face. 

“It’s called a guilty conscience, sweetheart,” she said, before stepping away to put the milk back in the fridge, “It means that despite how you try to act all dismissive and uncaring, you do have a moral compass after all.” Nick rolled his eyes at Judy’s explanation before taking another sip from his mug. “It’s understandable, Nick. You got away with taking a dump on museum property, and now that you’ve escaped without facing any punishment, your conscience is reminding you of the bad thing you did.”

“Thanks, Jiminy,” Nick replied, Judy responding with an exaggerated beam across her face, “That’s not it though. Yeah, I feel bad that I left a pile and a puddle on their property, but I feel like this isn’t the end of it. I’m worried it’s gonna come back to bite me in the tail, you know?”

“Well, there’s no telling what the future holds. It might come back to get you in trouble, it might not. But there’s nothing we can do about it now, right?” Nick nodded in agreement, before noticing the time on the oven on the other side of the room and picking up the pace of eating his breakfast.  “Honestly Nick, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Odds are that they found it and like you said, thought whoever stole the painting did it. If they’d thought it was you, they would have called the department and said something. Chief Bogo would have pulled you into his office before the end of our shift and said something about it. Even if he’s waiting until today to say something, they don’t have any evidence, so it’s your word against theirs. So try not to fret over it too much, okay?”

Looking at Judy over his nearly empty bowl again reminded him of what a wonderful rabbit Judy was. Though sometimes it grated on his nerves, her optimism and hope for the best in life helped keep him from drowning in a sea of pessimism. It might have been the caffeine taking its effect on him, but he felt that Judy’s words had played a big part in soothing his fears at the moment. 

“Yeah, okay,” Nick said, lifting the bowl to his lips and lapping up the remaining milk with his tongue. After wiping his mouth with his forearm, he stood up and walked toward Judy, planting a kiss on top of her head. “Thanks, Honey-Bun,” he said, watching her ears fall behind her head while she smiled up at him. 

Following a rush to get their teeth brushed and uniforms on before driving through the beginning of morning Savanna Central traffic, Nick and Judy made it to the employee parking side if the ZPD with five minutes to spare. Nick turned the ignition to his Wolveswagen off and the two hurried inside, through the usual cluster of officers and detectives swarming the place. With just three minutes to spare, Officers Hopps and Wilde entered the rowdy bullpen and climbed up to their seat alongside Officer Rhinowitz. Exchanging familiar nods with the surrounding officers, Nick took a deep breath to relinquish his lingering nerves about his incident in the museum. Judy was right. It seemed unlikely that after so much time passed, that his incident in the museum would come up now. Even if it was, he could just play ignorant so long as nobody had hard evidence to use against him. A few minutes passed and Nick took notice of Officer Higgins standing in place at the front of the room on the right side. 

_ Here comes Buffalo Butt _ , Nick thought while Higgins straightened his posture.

“Ten-HUT,” Higgins exclaimed, prompting every officer to stand at attention. Right on cue, the door to Nick’s right opened, and in stepped Chief Bogo. Nick decided to engage in the ritual of the officers around him, slamming his fists on the table and chanting primal grunts in rhythm. Taking notice of his renewed energy, Judy’s eyes moved to the side with a raised eyebrow and the left corner of her mouth smiling somewhat, even as she continued to pound and grunt herself. When Bogo reached the podium at the front of the room and turned to face the crowd, Nick’s enthusiasm began to dwindle upon noticing something different about the chief. Rather than the usual scowl of annoyance Bogo was known for, the buffalo instead had his lips curled upward, his eyebrows relaxed and in an upright position toward his crew of officers. 

_ Why is he smiling?  _ Nick asked himself, ceasing his part in the ritualistic greeting of the chief as he took his position in front of them. 

“Alright, alright, let’s all settle down now,” Bogo said in a cheerful voice, waving his hooves downward and placing a laptop on his podium, garnering a few looks of confusion from the officers taking their seats, “Before we get to any of the assignments today, there’s something that I want to share with you all. First we need to make sure that… ah, there he is!” Bogo exclaimed with enthusiasm once his eyes fell upon Nick, who sat with his arms crossed and his paws resting over and under his bare elbows below his short sleeves. “Officer Wilde, the fox of the hour! How you doing today, Wilde?”

“Uh… good?” Nick lied, feeling a sense of uneasiness creep up his spine from the buffalo’s grin, even Judy’s expression looking confused at what was going on at the moment. 

“Great! Glad to hear it. You know everyone, I don’t think I say this often enough, but Officer Wilde is quite an exceptional officer. Not to put him on a pedestal above anyone else, but I mean it when I say that he’s an officer unlike any I’ve ever seen before.”

Nick’s stomach felt weighed down from hearing Chief Bogo’s words, not from days of stored up meals stuck in his system, but from a sense of dread. Just yesterday, Bogo glowered down at Nick with furious eyes, making him think he was just one wrong step away from losing his job. Now, without any explanation for how or why, Bogo sang praises of Nick, like he was the savior of the ZPD or something. It just didn’t make any sense to him. 

“Now you might ask yourself ‘Chief Bogo, what about Wilde makes him so different from the rest of us?’. Well, he’s the kind of officer that uses unconventional means when performing an investigation, methods that I myself would never have thought of using. Why just yesterday, I assigned he and Officer Hopps to look over the theft at the Natural History Museum, and from what I’ve learned from the curator himself, Wilde put some of his unconventional methods to use.”

_ Oh my God, no,  _ Nick thought, feeling as if his heart had dropped into the pit of his stomach while his ears fell back against his head and his tail rose up to press itself against the bottom of his seat. Next to him, Judy’s face retained a stone expression, aside from her eyebrows lifted in concern.

“But hey, don’t take my word for it,” Bogo continued, pulling open the laptop on the podium and hooking it up to a nearby cable, “Wilde’s methods made such an impact on Dr. Orshack, that he felt the need to share the experience with me. He was even kind of enough to send me a video of Wilde in action, and after watching it myself, I can’t help but feel like it’s something that I should share with all of you as well.”

_ Oh please God, no, please don’t do this to me,  _ Nick mentally begged, feeling his entire body tremble while he watched Bogo turn on the projector to show the desktop of his laptop, then open a folder with just one video thumbnail in it. 

“So, without further ado, I want everyone to take a good look at this video, and see why Officer Wilde stands out in his own special way.”

“Hey chief, before you do that!” Nick began, sliding out of his seat and backing away from the table, “I-I-I think I left my, uh, car lights on, and I don’t want to drain the battery and have it die on me, so how about you not play that video until I come right back, okay?”

“Wilde, you step out that door, you lose your job,” Bogo said, his fierce growl returning for just a brief moment. Nick looked around the room, seeing every officer’s eyes looking between him and the chief, half of the officers confused, half of them eager to see why the mention of such a video had Nick so scared. The fox’s eyes fell upon Judy still standing in her seat, her face looking downtrodden as his at the moment while her ears hung limp behind her head. She motioned her left paw for him to return to his seat, despite both of their dread at what they knew was coming. With his head and shoulders sinking, Nick lumbered back to his chair, climbing up and sitting next to Judy, who offered him a gentle pat on his left shoulder.

“Officer Andersen, could you get the lights please?” Bogo asked, the smile he’d had before returning to his face. The polar bear on the back row of the left side of the room reached behind him and flipped the switch, only the brightness of the projector and the sunlight through the blinds of the windows providing any light at the moment.

With a rapid double-click of the mouse on Bogo’s computer, the desktop on the projector screen was enveloped by the sight of the bottom of the prehistoric pit Nick and Judy had used to trick a confession out of Bellwether, the very pit that he’d used in place of a toilet yesterday when he needed it. Nick saw after a moment a bit of movement in the upper left corner of the screen. It was Nick himself, looking over the edge of the pit before lowering himself to the ground, sliding his body over the edge and hanging by his paws before dropping several feet to the ground. He was too far away from the view of the camera to hear it clearly, but he could just make out the same wincing sound he’d made yesterday when the shock of his landing made him almost lose control of his bladder and his bowels. 

Something caught him off guard for just a moment when he felt his seat jerk, looking over toward Judy who looked right at him. With a deadpan stare, she put her paw in front of her face, pressing a digit to her lips and signaling him to keep silent. Confused though he was, his attention went back to the screen when he heard the sound of rustling grass, seeing his own anxious face emerging from the tall fake grass. 

“ _ This is gonna be a photo finish, _ ” Nick muttered on screen, before turning his back to the camera and moving his paws to his belt. The camera looked up at him from a low angle, capturing a bit of the ceiling of the museum, but mostly the view of Nick’s legs standing right in front of its view. Nick winced at the sound of of his fly unzipping and the rustling of his pants, and he internally begged for something to stop this. A power outage, an emergency call that needed the entire department, Bogo’s computer to freeze and need a reboot just to buy himself some more time. Once he saw his paws pull his pants and underwear down to reveal his sturdy red buttocks cream white balls, the laughs and whistles from the officers stabbed him like the final nail in his coffin. Nothing could stop what Chief Bogo had set in motion now. 

“Dang Wilde, didn’t know you had a butt like that,” the female white wolf Lupus teased from the left side of the room.

“Are fox balls supposed to be that small?” Officer Trumpet chuckled from the back of the room. Nick felt his face burn from the various jeers and comments around him, Judy’s paw rubbing his back doing little to comfort him at the moment. 

“ _ Oh crap, wait wait wait wait! _ ” he heard himself mutter from the screen. He looked through the openings between his digits over his eyes, watching his legs kicking off his pants and underwear while his red penis dangled over his balls, “ _ This feels like it’s gonna be a huge stream; don’t want to risk spraying my pants below me. _ ”

“Spraying?” lion Officer Johnson asked out loud while the fox on screen tossed his pants to the side, “No way, Nick, you didn’t.”

“ _ Okay, here we go; no regrets, Wilde.”  _ Following a soft grunt, the visual of his grayish anus under his lifted red and black tail flexed and remained slightly pronounced as it let out a brief but loud puff of gas. 

“ **_Pluuuupt_ ** _.” _

“Ewwww!” a number of officers exclaimed, along with an uproar of laughter. The noise of both sides escalated upon seeing the tip of his penis release the medium dark yellow stream of urine onto the grass in front of him. 

“This is too freaking good!” Officer Fangmeyer laughed, “Looks like you unleashed a flood there, Wilde!” 

“Oh, you think the flood is something?” Bogo remarked over the sigh of relief Nick emitted on screen, “Just wait for the avalanche.” 

“No way. Wilde, did you seriously...?” Before Fangmeyer could finish his question, the projector showed Nick’s anus between his red and trim glutes spread open, revealing the head of the first dark brown log making its way out of his body. “Oh my God, you did!”

Nick watched the screen in horror as it made him relive the same dread he’d experienced yesterday, with the added embarrassment of an audience watching and laughing at him. It made him cringe to see him grunt and strain to push that hard, dry log out; but it was better than looking at any of the officers heckling him at the moment. 

“ _ Come on… unngh-aaah _ ,” Nick heard himself grunt while the outer rim of his anus flexed and pushed the dark log forward a few centimeters, his stream of urine continuing all the while “ _ Geez-louise, first it feels like I’m gonna crap my pants, now I’m struggling to get it out? _ ”

“You always this chatty when you take a dump?” Officer Rhinowitz asked, “Or did you know you were being watched and wanted to give the audience some commentary?”

Still watching, Nick saw the turd hanging from his butt inch downward, blocking the view of his balls and touching the ground without breaking from the orifice it crawled out of. While Nick continued to mutter and grunt on screen, he saw the color of the log grow lighter as it made its way out. 

“ _ Nnng… aaah! _ ” Nick screamed on screen, before his paws shot up to cover his mouth. Another round of laughter emerged from the officers watching, taking delight in his unintentional outburst. 

“Geez Wilde, you sound like you were getting off to this,” Officer Snarlov said, “I’m starting to think you wanted to get caught.” 

Nick couldn’t watch anymore. He’d seen more than enough of himself in a compromising situation, and felt like he might puke if he watched anymore. Instead, he lowered his head and buried his eyes into his red forearms, shutting his eyes tight when he felt them sting. It wasn’t fair. He and Judy had saved the city from corruption, and she’d pushed for him to have a job by her side, gaining a fresh start for a better life. Now things had only gotten worse for him. It was just like when he was a cub, getting bullied and harrassed by prey cubs for wanting to find a sense of belonging. It had happened all over again, thinking he could find his place among the officers of the ZPD. Hearing the sounds of his grunting on screen and everyone around him jeering him, he realized how silly it was for him to feel hopeful for any such thing. 

_ Don’t cry _ , he commanded himself internally,  _ Don’t you dare cry. Don’t let them see that they get to you.  _

He felt a paw from his right pull his wrist gently out from under his face, and looked up to see Judy, her ears still drooping, looking at him with sorrow in her eyes. She slid her palm underneath his, clasping her digits around his and giving it a firm squeeze. Despite all of the other officers taking joy in his embarrassment, Judy was the one mammal who felt any sympathy for him. She’d assured him that things would get better for him once he joined the force, that they would accept him just as they’d accepted her once she’d proved herself. Though she wasn’t responsible for her coworkers hostility, Nick could tell by her expression that she nonetheless felt a bit of guilt for how they behaved at the moment. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Nick,” Judy whispered, her other paw brushing over the top of his paw at a gentle pace, “You can get through this. Just ride it out.”

Seeing Judy’s face and hearing her words broke the dam behind his eyes. He turned his face back down to his left arm, feeling a few tears leak out from his eyes and onto his sleeve while his shoulders trembled. He could hear Judy let out a shaky sigh while she squeezed his paw harder, her other paw rubbing over the top of it to offer what little comfort she could at the moment. 

On screen, Nick had switched from balancing himself on his feet to standing on his knees. Another grunt and tightening of his buttocks prompted his greasy butthole to open yet again, producing a much lighter color of brown waste from within at a rate that doubled the pace of the first one. Another round of revolted groans and laughter sounded from various officers throughout the room in response to Nick’s softer stool exiting his colon. After several seconds of the soft and thin log crawl out of his butt, the fox’s red cheeks twitched as his anus flexed, forcing out a small nugget that fell on top of his massive pile. The orifice stained with leftovers from his excrement finally relaxed, followed by a sigh from Nick, reveling in the bliss of such a satisfying dump.

“ _ Hoh… my… God… That felt… so good, _ ” Nick heard himself mutter on screen. The fox in the video turned about, looking straight at the camera with his eyes focused onto the ground below his butt, the inside of his cheeks covered in a thick layer of brown, “ _ Holy toledo; I’ve been carrying that around this whole time? God, no wonder I felt so sluggish. _ ”

“It’s called fiber, bro,” Officer Wolfard interjected with a chuckle, “You should try it sometime. Preferably with the goal to get to a toilet when it's making its way out of you.”

“ _ Officer Wilde, what’s your twenty? _ ” Judy’s voice sounded out from the same video while the fox looked in alarm toward his pants, “ _ I mean, if you’re in a place where you’re able to… over. _ ”

“This part is boring,” Bogo announced, moving his hoof to the mouse of his computer, “Let’s see if I can skip to the next good part… okay, here we go,” he said after fast-forwarding the video. Following his head turning from side to side, Nick stood up from his knees and bent over to pick up his pants, giving the camera a clear view of his firm cheeks spread wide, and his messy brown anus between them. 

“Holy crap!” Officer Delgato screamed over a mixture of groans and laughs, “Clean up on aisle number two, am I right?” His joke was met with an even louder uproar of laughs, followed by a few fist bumps from nearby officers. The audience continued to watch Nick slip his legs through the holes of his pants and pull them up past the view of his messy butthole. 

“Ugh, dude!” Wolfard exclaimed with disgust and humor, “You didn’t even wipe? That’s sick!” 

“Alright alright, I think that’s everything worth seeing here. Lights please?” Bogo said as the projector showed Nick refastening his pants. Officer Andersen turned the room lights back on and Bogo clicked the upper right corner of the screen to close the window, the image of his desktop replacing that of the video footage. “Well, I hope you all learned something from what you just saw. What say we give Officer Wilde a round of applause for showing us why he’s such a stand out officer?” A loud outbreak of cheers and whistles filled the room along with thunderous clapping of paws and pads all around. “Wilde, don’t be so humble! Show your face to your adoring crowd.” Taking a moment to wipe his sleeve across his face and sniffing through his nose, Nick pulled his head up, his wet eyes staring daggers at the buffalo grinning at him. “You know, I can’t help but find it funny that the same morning before this little incident, you told me to, quote ‘blow it out my ass’, didn’t you? Ironic that between the two of us, you’re the one who needed to blow something out of  _ your  _ ass.” 

Nick ground his teeth together as he kept his stare of death toward his boss, his red and black tail flaring in anger underneath him. His prior sadness had taken a backseat behind the anger toward the chief and the fact that he’d humiliated him in front of the forced he’d wanted to find belonging in. He wished that he could leap across the table, jump onto his face and dig his teeth into his face to wipe off that smug grin on him. It was only a pipe dream, though. The last thing he needed was to give the prey majority more reason to fear predators by losing his temper and attacking someone in a blind rage.  

“So, let me tell you a little something, Mr. Bomb Dropper,” Bogo continued as he leaned over his podium, “If you  _ ever  _ pop off to me in any form, I will make sure that this video finds its way online. It’ll have your name mentioned in the part I skipped through and everyone will know what you did. Your life will be ruined, unless you present yourself as the most well-behaved submissive officer on this force. Do I make myself clear?” Nick was about to grumble a conceding response of understanding, before Judy cleared her throat and released Nick’s paw. 

“Actually chief, you’re in no position to make such a threat,” the rabbit said, her ears jumping to their proper upright position as she drew the attention of Bogo and every other officer in the room.

“And why is that, Officer Hopps?” Bogo asked, his grin dropping to form a confused expression.

“Because, I’ve got my own video that I’m willing to share too.” Judy jumped off of her seat and scampered across the floor to the back of the room. Over the top of the door leading to the main hall, a cellphone was plastered to the white walls with a few straps of tape, until Judy leaped high into the air and ripped it down from its place. Throwing the tape to the floor, Judy pressed her thumb on the screen, making the phone emit a sharp beep. 

“... How long has that been on?” Bogo asked, his brow furrowing with anger over his eyes glaring down at Judy waltzing along the aisle of the briefing room. 

“I kinda lost track of the precise moment I pressed the record button, but I can play it back for you if you’d like?” Judy pressed the screen a few times, until the phone in her paws began to play a familiar voice. 

“ _ But hey, don’t take my word for it,”  _ Bogo’s voice rang out from the phone, before she turned it over to show him the screen itself, giving him a clear view of the buffalo fiddling with his laptop, “ _ Wilde’s methods made such an impact on Dr. Orshack, that he felt the need to share the experience with me. He was even kind of enough to send me a video of Wilde in action, and after watching it myself, I can’t help but feel like it’s something that needs to be shared with all of you as well. _ ” 

The video continued to play until Officer Andersen had turned the lights had turned off. The camera’s footage became blurry as the sound of wind rushing filled the speakers, the footage becoming clear again when it took its place above the door, and showed Judy’s face while she quickly applied a few strands of tape to keep it in place. In the blink of an eye, she’d sprinted back to her seat with Nick, putting her paw against her lips to keep him quiet when he’d felt the seat jerk. What followed was footage of the entire room of officers reacting to the footage of the projector, showing Nick skulking through the fake grass, pulling his pants down and to relieve himself on museum property.

“I don’t think I need to show you the  _ entire  _ video, chief,” Judy began, pausing the video right when Nick had presented his buttocks to the camera and the officers watching, “But I think it’s clear that what you just did violates numerous workplace guidelines; some of which include misuse of surveillance cameras given in confidence, cruel and unusual punishment, hazing, and — because of a few comments that some of the officers made — sexual harassment.” Judy tapped her phone screen once again to resume playing the video.

_ “Dang Nick, didn’t know you had a butt like that,”  _ the voice of Lupus said from the phone’s speakers.

_ “Are fox balls supposed to be that small?”  _ Officer Trumpet’s voice followed. Both officers received looks of annoyance by their surrounding coworkers, the two targets offering apologetic winces in return. 

“Now, I’ve got a mind to walk out of this room right now, go look up the best lawyer Wilde and I can afford, and have them bring this to the attention of City Hall,” Judy continued as she looked up at Bogo, his face growing more worried with each second that ticked by, “And they’ll bring the legal hammer down on this department so fast that this whole room will have new employees taking your places before the end of the month. How does that sound,  _ Buffalo Butt _ ?”

The entire room sat in petrified silence with their eyes fixed on Judy, including Nick himself. Whereas everyone else looked on with dread at the device in Judy’s paws, Nick felt an overwhelming sense of hope light up his soul as his tails relaxed and his ears twitched upward. She’d hustled Chief Bogo; she’d hustled him  _ good _ . Looking at Bogo’s fearful expression, Judy had him by the horns. Nick knew it, Bogo knew it, everyone in the room knew it. So long as she had that recording, he was at her mercy. 

“I get the feeling you want something in exchange for keeping that video from the eyes of any lawyers,” Bogo growled as his eyebrows furrowed and his usual scowl returned, “So start talking. What are your terms?”

“Listen up, because there’s a few of them,” Judy began, hopping up to the table in front of the chair Nick sat in, “First, you give me a copy of that video on a thumb drive.”

“That’s a very specific request, Hopps. I can think of only one reason why you’d want this video to take home with you.” Bogo snorted, eliciting a few snickers that broke out from behind the rabbit.

“It’s none of your business why I want it,” Judy said with defiance, her words putting a quick end to the other policemen’s laughter, “You just put my partner through a world of humiliation. I’m more than willing to take on my share of embarrassment for his sake.”

“Sounds like you two have a connection deeper than just partners on the force.”

“Again, none of your business,” Judy said, silencing the wave of “ooh”’s that broke out behind her by waving the phone up high above her head, “Second thing I want: after you give me a copy, you delete yours from your computer. Permanently. And I’m gonna watch you do it.”

“Fine. Anything else?”

“Yes. Third, you give me and him the rest of today off. Nick’s just undergone a world of emotional trauma, and there’s no way he can perform his job effectively under such psychological stress. He needs time to recuperate.” Judy turned to Nick who stared at awe at her, breaking him from his stupor. Taking her cue, the fox turned his face to Chief Bogo, letting his bottom lip hang out before sniffling through his nose and wiping the corners of his wet eyes. The buffalo rolled his own eyes and groaned, before Judy waved her paw to get his attention again. “Fourth…”

“You’re pushing it, Hopps,” Bogo snapped at her.

“I can push it as far as I carrot-picking want to!” Judy fired back with more volume than he’d used, “I could demand that everyone in this room dress up as the Village Mammals, stand on the roof of the ZPD and have you sing YMZA until the sun goes down, and you know what? You’d have to do it, if you don’t want me to show this to James Antler, the Zootopian Hammer.” 

Following the rabbit’s outburst, every mammal in the room lowered their heads, staring toward her as if flames had begun to shoot out of her mouth. Even Chief Bogo himself looked frightened by her intimidating demeanor, like he’d just now realized what it felt like for any officers on the receiving ends of one of his own tirades. Judy took a deep breath, composing herself after she’d gotten herself so riled up before she continued. 

“Fourth: nobody ever talks about this incident again, not even a peep. No snide remarks, no innuendos, no nothing. As far as you’re all concerned, this fox doesn’t poop; everything he eats gets converted into sexual charm, which he excretes on a regular basis. Have I made myself clear?”

Following another few seconds of silence, Bogo emitted an aggravated snort through his nose. 

“Crystal,” he grumbled. 

“Good!” Judy said with a bright smile, before jumping down from the table she stood on and fishing her keys out of her pocket. “Now, about getting me a copy of that video…”

Walking to the right side of Bogo, Judy passed him her keys, which had a small flash drive attached to the ring. Nick watched Bogo plug the device into his laptop, the projector still showing the desktop indicating it had read the device without issue. With the folder containing the video open, Bogo clicked open the folder for Judy’s device, then drug the video file from his folder to hers. About ten seconds passed with the loading bar in the middle of the screen before it vanished, showing the same file in Judy’s flash drive folder. Bogo ejected the device and yanked it out of his laptop before passing it back down to Judy. 

“Okay, that’s the first item,” she said as she looked at the drive in her palm with interest, “Next, you delete the one you have.” Nick again watched Bogo’s mouse move across the screen, right clicking the video in his folder and clicking the Delete option, followed by clicking Yes when it asked if he was sure. A few seconds passed, and the thumbnail vanished. “Permanently,” Judy reminded him, “Empty that recycle bin.”

“Oh for cripes — ,” Bogo found his interjection cut off when he saw Judy waving her phone at him, still showing the image of he himself standing in front of the projector displaying Nick’s naked butt pushing out a dark brown turd. Turning his face back to the laptop without a word, the projector showed him right-click his recycle bin, choose the Empty option, and confirm his choice. A light swishing sound emitted from the speakers, and the bin icon was empty. The video was wiped from existence, save for the one Judy had in her paw. 

“There we go then,” Judy said, stepping toward Nick and leaning her head back, prompting him to get up and follow her toward the back of the room, “Like I said before, nobody talks about this ever again. It never happened. Your jobs depend on your silence, so I’d keep those lips sealed if I were you.” In front of the door leading to the main hall, Judy turned back toward her surrounding officers with a triumphant smile. “Hope you all have a great rest of the day!” she said, before stepping out the door. 

Nick watched Judy take her leave, before turning back to the officers and chief staring at him, afraid to speak or even move as if it might trigger an explosion. The feeling of dread that had claimed him before was gone, replaced with more confidence than he usually felt on a day to day basis. With a cocky smirk of his own, Nick lifted his paw and raised his middle digit high so everyone could see it, before putting it down and leaving out the door. 

With the latch of the door squeaking into place, the silent officers all exchanged worried glances toward one another. Chief Bogo leaned his head forward, rubbing his hooves against the side of his heads with his eyes shut tight. 

“Uh, Chief…?” Officer Rhinowitz began, followed by Bogo lifting his left hoof in the air, giving clear indication that speaking to him was not the best of ideas right now. Rhinowitz quickly shut his mouth, followed by Bogo easing the cover of his laptop down, cutting off power and making the desktop on the projector disappear. 

“Right,” he began, his voice tired and dripping with defeat, “Let’s get on with today’s agenda.”

 

* * *

  
  


Stepping out into the light of the morning sun shining down on them, Nick felt the last of his tension melt away from his body. He’d made it out of the bullpen, away from Bogo’s iron hoof grip over him and away from his fellow officer’s jeers and jabs about what they’d seen on screen. And he owed it all to the beautiful rabbit walking in front of him. She, the same rabbit who’d saved him from falling to his death in the Rainforest District, borne her soul to him and begged for his forgiveness after she’d revealed her subconscious bigotry. The very same one who fought for him to have a place by her side as a police officer. 

“Judy…” Nick said when they neared his Wolveswagen.

“Yeah?” she replied, before the fox kneeled down and wrapped his arms around her body. 

“Thank you,” Nick uttered, resting the side of his face against her petite breasts. 

“Of course, Nick. Don’t even mention it.”

“I have to mention it,” he insisted, “You just saved my career in there; at the very least saved it from becoming Hell on Earth for me. I was too busy panicking, but you kept a cool head and figured out how to get me out of it. You stuck your neck out and put your own job on the line for my sake.” Nick lifted his head from her chest and looked up into her eyes. “I can’t even begin to describe how grateful I am to have you in my life. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” At a loss for words, a trembling smile formed on Judy’s face, before she leaned her head down and to the side. 

“S-sure, Nick,” she began, her voice shaking the slightest bit as her ears fell back, “You know you’re more than just my partner, and my boyfriend. You’re my soulmate.” Judy lifted her paws to Nick’s face, rubbing her digits just underneath the fur around his neck. “I’d never put my career or my own pride before you. You mean way too much to me.” 

Touched by her words, Nick lowered his head against her body again, while she moved her arms to cradle the back of his head. He took solace in the comfort of Judy’s bust supporting his head at the moment, and her paws rubbing just under his ears. Even if the whole city wanted to kick him around, Nick knew he’d always have her to jump in the way and fight off whoever gave him trouble; his own guardian angel with long ears and a soft cotton tail. 

“Well, still…” Nick began, pulling his head away from her chest, “I feel like I owe you for what you did. If you want me to do anything for you, tell me and I’ll do it.”

“Anything?” Judy asked in a sing-song tone, a playful grin spreading across her face.

“ _ Anything _ ,” Nick insisted with confidence, “Seriously, I’m so grateful to you right now that you could ask me to strip naked and walk me around the city on a leash, and I’d do it.” Judy opened her mouth, moved her eyes upward and nodded. 

“Huh. Not a bad idea,” she replied as her ears rose up, making Nick’s smile vanish in an instant, “Kidding! I wouldn’t make you do that Nick, no matter how hot it sounds.” Nick rolled his eyes and shook his head, allowing a guarded smile to return to his face. “Nah, I think I’ll just have you eat me out when we get home.”

“Done,” Nick replied without a moment’s hesitation. 

“While I watch  _ this _ ,” Judy continued, holding up the flash drive on her key ring containing the video she’d just watched in the bullpen. Nick’s eyebrows rose in surprise, directing a wary gaze at the flash drive in her grasp. “...Please?”

Nick took a few seconds to think it over. Watching the video amongst his officers had made him cringe, both because of the demeaning things they’d said to him, and because he’d thought Judy would find it repulsive to witness such an unappealing act from him. Looking at her face though and remembering what she’d said when she demanded the video from Bogo, he reminded himself that she had no malicious reasons to use it against him. And she’d also not outright denied her reasons for wanting it, nor Bogo’s accusation of their deep connection. 

“Okay. Done,” Nick confirmed, watching an eager smile spread on Judy’s face. 

“Yes!” she cheered, clapping her paws together, “Great, let’s get going. I’m, uh, kind of itching to get home,” she explained, Nick noticing her thighs pressed together, “If you know what I mean.” 

With a light-hearted chuckle, Nick walked toward the driver’s side of his car while Judy scampered to the passenger’s seat. Twisting the keys into the ignition once they’d sat down, the engine roared to life, and Nick backed out of his parking space. Merging onto the freeway nearby, Nick felt more than happy to leave behind the Zootopia Police Department for today and enjoy some time at home with his perfect girlfriend. 

“So Judy, hope you don’t mind me asking,” Nick began, keeping a paw on the wheel as he sped down the long stretch of highway before him, “Any particular reason why you’re so excited to rewatch a video of me taking a dump?”

“No, I don’t mind,” Judy replied, “You remember a few weeks ago when I wet and messed my pants while stuck in traffic on the way home from work?”

“Do I?” Nick asked with a laugh. He found it difficult to forget such an image, one that had burrowed itself into his mind. The image of Judy doubled over and fighting to keep her bladder and bowels under control, before finally giving up and letting nature take its course. With their car stuck in a sea of other vehicles, Nick had watched a wet spot formed in the center of Judy’s pants and expanded outwards, coating the top of her thighs and crawling up the sides of her behind. Next she’d leaned over to her right, pushing hard and letting a thick dump inflate her pants, then pulled her jeans down and pushed the rest out into her panties, making them tent out under the sheer weight of her poop. 

“Of course you remember,” Judy said, watching him bite his lip while the memory flashed through his mind, “Which means you also remember how hard you came when we got home, and I had my messy butt hovering over you while you jacked off underneath me.”

“Mmmf, God Carrots. It’s distracting for me to drive with an erection; can’t tell if I’m changing gears or stroking myself.” Judy snorted in humor and her eyes looked down, noticing a slight bump signifying his erection had just begun to form.

“Right. Anyway, your reasoning for enjoying me in that situation? Same applies for you.”

“My reasoning was because you don’t see women taking a dump that often in TV or movies. I even said it’s a lot more common to see guys doing it instead. Isn’t it more gross when a man does it than a woman?”

“No!” Judy insisted, before turning her head up in thought, “Well, I might be grossed out if I saw any other mammal do that. But not you.”

“Really?” Nick asked, “Why me?”

“Multiple reasons. One of the biggest reasons is because of the intimate bond we share. You’ve been such an angel to me since we became friends, and even more so when we started dating. I feel so comfortable with you now that it’s kind of impossible for you to do anything that I’d find repulsive. I just really like the idea of both of us being so open and connected to each other that there’s no barriers between us. It’s kind of an emotional thrill that I get to see what you look like when you’re doing something that you’re embarrassed of.” Judy paused for a moment and shook her head. “Wait, that came out wrong: I’m not getting off on your embarrassment, it’s just that — you know, I want you to feel like it’s nothing to be embarrassed of, like you can be comfortable enough around me that you don’t have to hide something like that from me… does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I get you,” Nick replied, “It’s the same thing I said to you when you, uh… expanded the back of your pants.”

“Exactly!” Judy exclaimed, before reaching for his right thigh and gave it a squeeze, “When I got to see that video in the bullpen, I realized it was as sexy as I imagined it to be. I mean, you’re such a hot fox Nick, with your slim athletic upper body, your slender legs, your big, bushy tail raised up high over your little round butt.”

“Little?” Nick asked with mock offense.

“Not flat or anything. Just firm and toned, like a swimmer’s butt. Slim butts are hot!” Nick shook his head with an endearing smile as Judy continued, “So watching your exquisite body hunched over and pushing out a thick, smelly log like that? Mmm...” Judy hummed, moving her paw over and giving his erection a squeeze while her other paw pressed up against her pants in between her legs, “Delicious.”

“Distracting!” Nick exclaimed, swerving his car to the right after he’d begun to drift out of his lane, and prompting Judy to pull her paw back, “Okay, okay, you made your point; we both find each other attractive, so seeing each other do something unattractive makes a weird clash that makes it even hotter, got it. One thing I don’t get though: why were you so disgusted by the farts I ripped in the museum, instead of getting turned on?”

“Because  _ those  _ were farts of death,” Judy said with resolution, “I don’t know what happened, if you drank some bad coffee, or maybe the breakfast bar you ate was past the expiration date, but something in your system didn’t mix well, and it made for some horrific gas.”

“Alright, thanks for making that painfully clear,” Nick grumbled.

“But normally, they’re not that bad,” Judy clarified before he could stay upset for too long, “They’re just soft little toots that just smell a bit sour for a few seconds, then they’re gone. Those aren’t bad.”

“So what, you like the smell of farts?”

“I wouldn’t say I  _ love  _ them. But you know, it’s just kind of cute to knowing you have to push out a little gas from time to time, even when I’m still in the room.” Judy reached over and poked Nick’s stomach, making him flinch. “Your widdle tummy had bubbles in it, so it gave you a tooty bottom.”

“Do you want me to crash this car!?” Nick laughed as she tickled his stomach, Judy pulling back while she began to laugh too. Driving along the highway with hardly any traffic to slow them down, Nick let himself relax, keeping one paw on the wheel. He and Judy had come out with a pretty sweet deal now that he gave it some thought. Despite his initial embarrassment, Judy had Bogo and the rest of the ZPD by the balls so long as she held that video of the department hostage. He felt glad glad that her tenacity had demanded the department respect the both of them as more than just friends, and give them the day off too. While he still felt uneasy about the idea of Judy getting off to a video of him relieving his bowels, the way she’d described it a moment ago proved she felt more than eager to enjoy it in the privacy of his apartment. While it seemed strange to him, if Judy found pleasure in it, he had no complaints. Whatever made her happy made him just as happy.


	4. Chapter 4

Stepping in front of the toilet and unzipping his fly, the tip of the red fox’s veiny penis poked out of his white sheath. He took a breath and gave a slight push of the muscles of his groin, letting a stream of yellow liquid pour out and trickle into the water below. While nowhere near desperate, he’d felt a sudden urge to pee on his way home from the Zootopia Police Department, both from his cup of coffee wanting out of his system, as well as the fear he’d felt from his embarrassing experience there. He noticed that the liquid didn’t have the same dark color as it did in the pit yesterday. He remembered his partner in the ZPD forcing water bottles on him every other hour throughout their shift after they’d dropped off their evidence at the department and began their patrol. It had brought on a few more needs for the restroom than he was comfortable with, but thankfully he’d not had another incident like that morning, in which he’d been denied the use of the men’s room when he’d needed it and let out a monster dump on museum property. 

As his urine stream dwindled to a feeble drip, Nick exhaled and gave his penis a shake before letting it slip back into his sheath and zipped his pants up once again. After flushing the toilet and washing his paws, the fox looked at his reflection in the mirror, still dressed in his short-sleeve police uniform. 

_ Okay Nick, you know what’s coming next,  _ he told himself as he looked into his own green eyes staring back at him,  _ You’re gonna go out there and set up the TV to play the video of you dropping some huge brown logs in front of a museum security camera so your girlfriend can watch it while you eat her out. And she’s gonna love it. Totally not weird. She stood up to the entire ZPD for you and pretty much admitted she’s into this sort of thing. She threw her pride away in order to keep you from being the laughing stock of Precinct One after they watched that video of you defiling the museum grounds. She’ll enjoy this, and you will too.  _

Nick nodded and stepped out into the small living room, the red sofa a few inches away from the front door and the wide screen television on the other side against the wall. His rabbit partner waited patiently on his couch, still dressed in her uniform. With the flash drive containing the video of his dirty deed in her grasp, she looked up at him with her violet eyes full of excitement, making his heart melt under the warming sentiment coming over him.

“You ready to set it up?” she asked, her puff of a tail wiggling behind her.

“I will be in a moment, Judy,” Nick said, standing near her in front of the couch, “I just want to take a moment to cherish what a wonderful rabbit I’m dating, before things start getting dirty.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,”Judy said, putting the flash drive on the floor as Nick sat down, the side of his right glute touching her left, “Whatever happened to ‘you bunnies, so emotional’?”

“Yeah yeah, yuk it up, Carrots,” Nick said as Judy laughed, “I blame you for my emotions. I didn’t become this sappy until you came into my life.” Nick leaned forward and stopped Judy’s laughter with a firm kiss on her lips. Her long ears fell back in an instant as she fell into the sanctity of his mouth pressed on hers, Nick hearing her breathing slow down the slightest bit. Nick lifted his left paw and moved it along the wrist of her right paw, and she tilted it back to let her palm touch his. Their digits intertwined with one another and exchanged a gentle squeeze, while Nick’s right paw moved up to caress Judy’s chin. 

The rabbit eased herself back against the couch, touching her head against the armrest while Nick leaned forward to keep his chest against hers. Judy’s left paw wrapped around the back of Nick’s head, hanging onto him as she opened her mouth and pushed her tongue forward to meet his own and engage in their affectionate tango. His right paw moved away from her face, down past her neck and brushed along her stomach, drawing a sharp giggle from her mouth and into his. Nick’s grasp continued downward until it reached her supple round butt, giving her left cheek a firm squeeze. He felt a passionate hum reverberate along his lips as Judy’s tongue continued wrestling with his, her right paw letting go of his own and joining her left around his head. Her tongue and lips began to move with more fervor, and her legs jumped up to wrap around Nick’s waistline. He had already felt a soothing tingle building within his loins, but her sudden leap of passion made his shaft push from his sheath again, making a sizable tent in his navy blue pants which pushed up against Judy’s groin. Following another lustful moan, Judy pulled her mouth away from Nick’s and looked at him while she caught her breath. 

“That enough sentiment for you?” Judy purred with an open-mouthed grin. 

“I guess,” Nick said with mock disappointment, unable to hide his own grin toward her. 

“Good. Let’s get those pants off.” Nick closed his eyes and shook his head in response to Judy’s request.

“Just like a bunny: one-track mind, only focused on sex.”

“Uh-huh, less talking, more stripping,” Judy said as she pushed Nick back, then sprang forward to latch her paws onto his shirt. With impressive speed, Judy unfastened each button one by one until it was completely open, then peeled it back while Nick pulled his arms through his short-sleeves. With just his white sleeveless tank top covering his upper half, the entirety of his red shoulders were exposed with just a few hints of the cream fur along his neck and under his stomach showing. Running her palms down the front of his undershirt, Judy moved past his waistline and unzipped his fly. 

“You’re not gonna take my top off?” Nick asked as she unfastened the button at his waist and slipped her thumbs into his boxers. 

“Nah,” Judy replied, pulling his pants and underwear down to his knees, “It’ll look sexier if you keep the top on. Draws more attention to your butt; which I’m really focused on today.”

“Hm. Can’t imagine why,” Nick mused as he lifted his legs and kicked off his pants, leaving only his upper body covered by his tank-top while his bottom half laid bare before Judy. His red shaft with a spider-web of veins stood tall and rigid above his cream colored sheath and balls, pointed right at the rabbit he felt so fond of. “You ready for me to set the video up now?”

“More than ready,” Judy replied.. Nick lifted the flashdrive from the small table and stood up from the couch, sauntering his way toward the television resting on the large display. Nick lowered himself to his knees, resting his hindquarters on his ankles as he opened the cabinet doors to grab his laptop and the cable needed to hook it up to the TV. “Mm, nice,” Nick heard Judy say out loud, looking back to see the rabbit’s eyes focused on his butt while she peeled her own uniform pants and blue panties down to reveal the light-gray fur around her vulva, “That’s what I’ve wanted to see since we walked through the door. I know I don’t say this often enough, but for a guy, you’ve got a pretty round pair of glutes on you.” 

Despite his face burning somewhat, Nick felt his cock jump from Judy’s comments about his backside. Feeling playful, he decided to lean forward, putting his paws and knees on the floor and raising his tail up high. His hips swayed from side to side, giving Judy an unobscured view of his meaty posterior.

“Gosh Judy, you’re such a perv,” Nick said with a smile as he looked back to her over his shoulder, swishing his bushy red tail back and forth over his robust red and cream fur of his tush.

“You know it,” Judy chimed as she unfastened her chest plate and yanked her shirt over her head, “Might as well call me Lewdy Hopps.”

“... That was horrible,” Nick said a stone gaze. The rabbit stuck her tongue out at him and threw her shirt toward his butt, leaving herself dressed only in her blue bra. Judy spread her gray legs wide open, giving Nick a clear view of the white fur along the front of her body down to her groin, where the pink flesh of her pussy shined from her anticipation for this moment. The fox licked his chops, feeling himself salivate at the glistening flesh that held such an intoxicating flavor. He had to tear his head away from the sight, knowing he had a job to do before he lost himself to the inviting crevasse between Judy’s legs. 

Nick pulled his computer out and powered it on, then inserted the flash drive into the slot on the side before connecting the long cable to the TV over his head. Turning the TV on and toggling which input it displayed, the sight of his desktop appeared on the television, showing the folder of Judy’s flash drive and the video thumbnail within. Nick heard a soft gasp emanate from Judy upon seeing the file and knowing what it contained, while Nick fished around the cabinet of the display until finding a small remote. 

“There we go,” Nick said, double-clicking the video and pausing it right at the beginning before standing to his feet, “This will let you pause, rewind and fast-forward to your heart’s content. Just point it toward the computer, not the TV itself.” Nick lowered himself back to his knees, his face just a foot and a half away from Judy’s spread and twitching pussy as he looked up toward her face. “You ready?” 

“Mhm!” Judy nodded, grabbing the remote and pressing play, resuming the footage of the prehistoric pit. As Nick on screen slid himself over the edge of the pit, Nick in front of Judy leaned his head forward, pressing his nose up against the slit of her vaginal lips. He saw her thighs contract from the initial coldness of his wet nose, but soon acclimated themselves to his touch. 

Nick took in a deep sniff the aroma emanating from Judy’s damp lips. His ears twitched as his senses were flooded with the warm and tangy smell of her building arousal, making his rigid cock rise higher toward his stomach. After sniffing up to the top, he brought his muzzle back down and poked his tongue forward, hoping to warm up her lips with his saliva. Judy let out a sigh of comfort as she leaned her head back against the couch, her ears still hanging down and pushed against the cushions behind her as she reveled in Nick’s soothing ministrations of his tongue. 

“You must have had to go really bad if you resorted to doing something like this, huh?” Judy asked, when Nick’s face stopped just half an inch from licking her pussy, “Oh, sorry; you probably don’t want to stop to chat, do you?”

“I’m fine with it,” Nick replied, reaching his right paw up sliding his thumb up the crease between her legs, making her shudder with delight, “I don’t think I’ve felt that desperate for a bathroom since grade school. It felt like there was a bomb in my sphincter, and I had about thirty seconds left before it exploded.”

“Mm, poor thing,” Judy whispered, before Nick’s tongue lapped a few inches above her anus and up her soft and quivering labia. A soft moan escaped Judy’s mouth as her legs grew tense and then relaxed to match the patterns of Nick’s tongue. Judy’s eyes remained focused on the screen, seeing Nick’s face poke out of the tall grass and look at the camera he’d he’d been unaware of. “There you are; there’s our star of the show,” she announced with a moan, her hips swaying back and forth under Nick’s face, “You probably know this already after all the press from being the first fox in the ZPD, but I gotta say: you look good on camera.”

Nick gave a slight hum of approval as he continued to lick Judy’s nethers, gaining his own sense of excitement which collected in his rigid cock and made it throb a bit. On screen, Judy watched as Nick kicked away his pants to avoid peeing on them, before resuming his squatting position and giving the camera a perfect view of his spread cheeks and twitching anus. The familiar “ **_Pluuuupt_ ** _ ”  _ of Nick’s fart escaping his cheeks rang out from the television’s speakers.

“Oh, God!” Judy uttered, flexing her hips toward Nick after the sound of his flatulence filled the room, “That was a big one. I can’t believe nobody heard you.” Nick pulled his mouth away from Judy’s soaking pussy again, letting his thumb take its place for a moment.

“I felt scared out of my mind,” Nick said, inching his thumb upward toward the nub of her clitoris. His unexpected touch elicited a sharp squeal from Judy as she threw her head back, her hips jumping up against his thumb in approval. Behind him, he could hear a torrent of liquid splattering against the surface, reminding him of what he saw yesterday morning as his penis emptied a dark yellow stream through the air and onto the fake grass in front of him.

“Mm, look at that beautiful golden stream,” Judy said as she moved her hips from side to side against Nick’s thumb, “And so much of it too. That’s what happens when you drink all that coffee.”

“Coffee? Yeah right,” Nick fired back, “That’s what happened after I drank that water bottle.”

“Shh-shh, hold on!” Judy instructed, turning the volume of the TV up with the other remote near her, “You’re about to poop!” Nick rolled his eyes and let his tongue take its previous place against Judy’s fleshy crevasse as she kept her focus on the screen. It was subtle, but as she watched his anus on TV spread, they could both hear his urine stream diminishing. What followed was the sounds of sticky flesh pushing out the fox’s first dark brown turd between Nick’s cheeks. “Ahh, you’re t-turtle-heading!” Judy squealed in a higher pitch than usual, lifting her right paw underneath her blue bra and squeezing her left breast. “It’s so big! Did it hurt pushing it out?”

“A little bit,” Nick said, once again trading his paw for his tongue and licking the juice clinging to his lips, “I mean, it wasn’t just the size, but the fact that it was so hard and dry. I really had to push to even get it moving.”

“ _ Hmm...mmph. Come on… unnngh-aaah,”  _ Nick grunted on screen, as the length of his dark turd slowly grew until it touched the ground. 

“I can tell,” Judy muttered with her mouth hanging open while Nick pushed his face back in between her legs. Her feet pulled inward off of the sofa cushion and wrapped around Nick’s shoulders, her toes moving along the back of his white tank-top. “My big handsome fox had to go potty so bad.”

Nick shuddered from Judy’s taunts and the sensation of her feet rubbing him from behind. While still a strange situation in his mind, he felt himself becoming more used to it from every indication of Judy’s enjoyment of what she watched. He didn’t think the sight of himself taking a dump was even close to appealing, but he remembered that sometimes, mammals tended to be their own worst critics. What he might have considered repulsive about himself, Judy might see as more than appealing; just like how he’d found it so fascinating watching her crap her pants, and gazing upon her cheeks caked in her own flattened brown mess once they’d gotten home and into the shower. 

“ _ Nnng… aahhh! _ ” Nick heard himself moan from behind him, as the enormous log had at last dropped from his rectum and he’d covered his mouth following his uncontrolled outburst. Judy gave a similar cry of pleasure in response, the relief in the fox’s voice in that very moment sending her clitoris into a quick, forceful pulse under Nick’s tongue.

“O-oh my God,” Judy muttered, “That sounded like it felt good. Mmm… Really, really good. I can’t believe you still had to go after that.” Judy’s left paw moved to Nick’s head, rubbing her digits along the base of his right ear. The fox felt his eyes roll upward from the soothing tickle Judy’s touch gave his trembling ear, before he emanated a deep moan against her wet folds. 

Nick kept his face buried in Judy’s lap, her legs squeezing tighter around his back as she continued to watch the video. After releasing his muzzle, the fox on screen had resumed pushing once again, prompting a lighter color of brown to emerge from his butthole and slip out with far less resistance. After pushing a few inches out, Nick’s stream of urine resumed once again, before the small end of his dump dropped onto the ground and made him sigh from the bliss of relief. Just a few seconds later though, his body hunched over and his butthole once again shifted outward. 

“ _ Man, is this dump ever gonna end? _ ” Nick muttered, before shifting his weight to his knees, a second log pushing its head out with an even lighter shade of brown than the one preceding it. 

“Oh, this is the softer one!” Judy exclaimed, clutching the back of Nick’s head as she thrust her lap against his face and humped it involuntarily, “Ah — hoo — oh, I’m so close! Just… wanna hold it, until… you’re done.” Nick had to think for a moment as his tongue circled her clitoris before he understood what she meant. Since he neared the end of his dump on screen, she probably wanted to save her orgasm right for the end, feeling her own relief at the same time he did within the video. Judy continued to moan and flex her loins against Nick’s face, pinching her nipple underneath her bra and watching the TV as his softest log poured out of his cheeks, leaving a healthy layer of smudge in its wake. The turd broke its form halfway through, leaving a sizable chunk hanging from his butt for a few seconds. Judy’s hips began to shake as she bore her teeth together, waiting for what came next. Eventually the brown nugget of poop fell from Nick’s butt, leaving the inside of his spread cheeks smothered in what the turd had left behind. 

“Right there!” Judy screamed, pausing the video and leaving it on a still image of Nick’s messy anus as he remained in his squatting position. Following her cue, Nick’s tongue began to wiggle up and down in rapid succession across the throbbing nub of flesh at the sop of her pussy lips. “Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhhh, mmmmf!” Judy lurched forward and clutched Nick’s head tight as she came, her pussy lips trembling against his tongue as he pushed upward on her clitoris. “Haaaaah- ohhhhh!” Judy didn’t even try to hold back her screams as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss shook her body, following a light trickle of fluid adding to her already soaking folds. After half a minute of twitching and feeble whimpers, Judy’s body began to relax. She released her paws and feet from Nick’s head, allowing him a chance to breathe after her orgasm had kept his muzzle smothered against her body. “Whew… oh God…” Judy muttered, her body still shaking as she lowered her other paw from underneath her bra, “That was intense.”

“You want another one, don’t you?” Nick said, his mouth still dripping from the fluids her pussy had excreted the entire time he’d licked her, his tail swishing across the floor as he sat his bare bottom on top of his ankles. 

“Of course I do,” Judy replied, still winded, “Just… need a moment to catch my breath.” Laying back against the couch, Judy’s eyes peered back down to the screen to look at the paused video. “Mm, you’ve got such a cute little messy butt. It’s like brownie batter stuck on your tushy.”

Nick snorted in humor at Judy’s mutterings. Feeling a bit of morbid curiosity, Nick decided to turn around and look at the screen for himself. Looking at himself on screen, he saw his own red hindquarters spread open from his position on his knees. While the image had made him want to disappear at the department, seeing it now and knowing it had brought his girlfriend to an orgasm made him appreciate the visual in a new light. Judy was indeed correct: while not the same roundness as the rabbit sitting on the couch, Nick felt surprised to see that his own cheeks had an alluring amount of toned girth. A layer of brown covered the center of his anus, along with some small, chunky smudges on the interior of his cheeks near the orifice. While the appearance itself looked a little gross, he couldn’t help but marvel at its significance, marking the instant he’d felt the immense relief of squeezing out the dump that had tortured him for the past few days.

“Okay… okay, I’m ready for another one,” Judy muttered, adjusting her position in her seat which had darkened in some spots from the moisture of her pussy dripping down her body, “Don’t use your tongue immediately though, I don’t want to get my flesh licked raw. Just use your paw for now.”

“Can do,” Nick said, moving his paws along Judy’s spread thighs and tracing his thumbs along the outer lining of her pussy. With a grin on her face from the returning pleasure in her loins, Judy grabbed the remote and rewound the video, right to the point where Nick had kicked his pants away and squatted down toward the camera. Again, the sound of his rear on screen breaking wind filled the room as his paws moved closer to the center of Judy’s vagina. 

“ **_Pluuuupt_ ** ”.

“Oh, it’s so cute!” Judy sang out in bliss, holding the remote up and pressing the replay button to rewind the video by five seconds, again showing Nick right as his anus began to flex. 

Another “ **_Pluuuupt_ ** ” rang out from the speakers, followed by another whine from Judy. 

“One more, one more…” Judy muttered, once again pressing the replay button.

“ **_Pluuuupt_ ** _ , _ ”

“Ahhh, your farts sound so adorable, Nick!” Judy squealed as the fox below her rubbed his thumb up the center of her pussy, pushing gently against her clitoris. Nick began to chuckle from the delight in hearing Judy’s infatuation with the rude sounds his butt had made yesterday. Hearing the crackles behind him, he knew she’d once again reached the part of the video where he’d begun pushing out that first dried up monster that had put up a fight before finally inching out of him. “You-you can start licking now, Nick,” she advised as she hunched forward away from the back cushion, “I’m gonna cum again in the next few minutes.”

Pulling his thumbs away from her privates, Nick leaned his head down and took the same position as before, pressing his tongue against her wet and sticky folds and dragging it up to her swollen clitoris. The sounds of pleasure escaping her mouth had taken its toll on Nick, making his shaft over his cream balls throb with need. He didn’t know if Judy would have the strength left for full intercourse after her next climax, so he decided it wouldn’t hurt to administer his own self-relief. He moved his right paw down the front of his white sleeveless shirt and under his balls, pulling it up past his bulging sheath covering his knot and stroking the base of his cock. He began to moan into Judy’s wet snatch, making her legs shake from the vibrations he provided. Even as he groped his shaft up to the tip and back down to his sheath, his ears still picked up the sounds coming from the TV, hearing his own voice grunt as he pushed the dried monster turd out of his rectum. 

He didn’t know what had triggered it; perhaps the time that had elapsed since breakfast and the cup of coffee he’d drank, or maybe the way he’d begun to masturbate made something in his body shift in a different way. Whatever it was, he felt another sensation within him, on the opposite side of his throbbing cock. It felt nowhere near as intense as what he’d felt the morning before, not even strong enough to consider it urgent; but it was still noticeable nonetheless. Thinking back to the part of the video Judy had replayed three times in a row, Nick decided to take a chance and see if his hunch was accurate. Still licking her soaking privates, Nick’s bushy red tail slowly rose upward, revealing his strapping furry cheeks with the bit of cream lightness near the interior. The soft, compact crater of gray flesh between his cheeks flexed ever so slightly as he gave a gentle push through the little round orifice.

**_Plraaaaaap-plup_ **

“That!” Judy exclaimed as her long ears shot up from the sound she’d just heard, “That wasn’t the video! Did you just — ?” Nick kept his mouth between her legs, his eyes moving up toward her face looking down on him, and offering her a playful wink.

**_Prrt_ **

“Hnnnnng!” Judy shrieked at the very same time the smell of his flatulence hit his nose. Thankfully it didn’t come close to the foulness of what he’d unleashed yesterday; instead just giving a hint of sour and bitter sweetness wafting through the air. He watched Judy’s nostrils flex as she took a whiff of the air, then closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the couch. “Huuuuuh — eeeek!” Another forceful push of her hips against his face signaled that she’d once again hit her peak, even sooner than she’d thought from the unexpected outburst from Nick’s glutes, not from the video, but just a few feet away from her in real-time. “Oh… oh… ohhhhh,” Judy continued to moan as she dug the back of her head into the couch, with her ears once again flopped behind her, “You dirty, dirty fox.”

“That’s me,” Nick said with his paw still groping his erection, pulling his head back from her wet folds and taking a breath of air, even as it still carried hints of his flatulence, “So, you good now?” Judy weakly lifted her right arm, holding out a single digit toward him. “Another one!?”

“Last one, I promise,” Judy assured him, “This time I want your dick inside me.” 

“Fine with me,” Nick agreed with a shrug, pulling himself up from the floor. Judy picked up the remote and rewound the video to the point where Nick had surprised her with his flatulence, pausing at the moment the darkest turd had made it halfway out of his butt. Nick sat on the couch as Judy lifted her hindquarters up, giving him a moment to gaze upon the sopping fur of her rear and soft fleshy lips. As he inched himself sideways, Judy moved her right foot over his lap, easing her body down and nudging the pointed tip of his penis. 

“Nnf…” Judy whined as she pushed the surface of her lips against the tip, teasing herself for a few seconds before plunging onto the shaft she’d felt inside her so many times before. She rocked her hips back and forth, dragging her slit back and forth, letting her juices run down both sides of his shaft. While the rabbit coated his flesh in her own wetness, Nick occupied his paws with her behind, grasping both ample gray cheeks into his palms and giving them a firm squeeze. Only a few seconds passed, before Judy couldn’t keep herself waiting any longer, pushing her body down and plunging Nick’s shaft into her opening. “Ahhhh!” Judy wailed in overwhelming bliss, the inner walls of her pussy hugging his red length tight. 

“Oouf!” Nick grunted from the jolt rushing down his cock and from the sheer tightness of her caverns gripping him, “Holy cow Judy, you’ve got an iron grip on me!”

“Mmf… because I… I’ve never felt more turned on… in my life!” Judy shrieked, easing her way down his cock until her labia rubbed against the fur of his sheath. Another whimper escaped her throat as the soft hairs tickled against her flesh, prompting her to lean back and look upon the face of the fox giving her so much pleasure. 

Acting on impulse, Nick leaned down and kissed Judy’s lips even as he flexed his hips up toward her posterior. He felt the rabbit moan against his mouth before opening wide and coaxing his tongue to embrace hers once again. Nick had planned to give Judy a few oral orgasms and call it an evening, but just like many times before, her arousal became somewhat intoxicating. Her excitement had overflowed from her own senses and infected him, making him crave the same climax she’d experienced twice now. He felt Judy’s right paw reach up and rub the back of his head, pushing him to kiss deeper into her mouth. Both of them breathed heavily upon each other, feeling warm air move against the other’s face as they tugged and pulled at each other’s lips. 

Several seconds passed before Judy relinquished Nick’s mouth and reached for the remote, pressing play toward the laptop and resuming the video footage on screen. Both mammals on the couch watched the darkest and driest turd inch the rest of its way out of Nick’s anus, touching the ground below him but still keeping its connection to his butt. 

“ _ Hoh… ho, boy _ ,” Nick grunted on screen, his hindquarters clenching tight to push out what remained of the log in his bottom. A few seconds later, the fat turd picked up its pace and lightened in color, while the fox pushing it out reared his shoulders back. “ _ Nnng… aahhh! _ ” Nick cried out, followed by covering his muzzle in embarrassment. 

“Mmmm, Nick!” Judy moaned as she rode his cock, her buttcheeks slapping against his lap below her, “It’s so hot to hear you make those girlish sounds when you’re pooping. Nngh!”  Nick felt his face burn from Judy’s remark, knowing she meant it as a compliment, but still feeling a bit flustered for having his masculinity challenged. In spite of his reservation, Nick took solace in seeing Judy’s joyful expression as she kept her eyes glued to the screen, gasping as the tail of his turd dropped from his anus and onto the ground. 

The two continued watching the video of Nick pushing out another softer log, the fox on the sofa moving his eyes between the screen in front of him and the rabbit watching with a captivated stare. He could feel his arousal escalating little by little, not quite at the same rate Judy’s did, but steadily enough to enjoy the rabbit’s sliding up and down his dick. While he himself could have lasted for a few more minutes, he could feel Judy’s pussy tightening even more around him, the usual sign that her orgasm loomed just over the horizon. She’d even stopped moving up and down his length and leaned forward to give Nick a view of the blue strap of her bra across her back, her body tensing up to hold back her imminent release.

**_Pfflurrp-prrp_ **

Nick’s eyes opened wide at the abrupt sound that emanated from just a few inches in front of him. The sudden rush of warmth over his lap under Judy’s butt pushing against him and the sour aroma wafting over his nostrils signaled that she’d indeed released what she was holding back; just not from the area he’d expected. 

“Ahhh…” Judy sighed, wiggling her hips against Nick’s lap to readjust her position, before resuming her sliding up and down his dick, looking back up at him with narrowed eyes and a sultry open-mouthed grin.

_ Judy just farted on my lap, _ Nick thought with his wide open eyes looking down at her mischievous gaze,  _ She farted on my lap, and she’s not even sorry for it. She’s proud of it even.  _

“Oh God, Judy!” Nick shrieked, wrapping his arms around her waist as his knot lept from his sheath and rammed itself into her vaginal caverns. The rabbit let her tongue hang out from the sudden mass stretching her open, locking her in place while the two of them trembled in the wake of their final release, the smell of Judy’s flatulence still clinging to the air around them. “Hnnng! Grrrk!” Nick bore his teeth as he felt the rush course through his penis, clenching his hips in preparation for the last hurrah of their romp together. His flaring shaft released a large gush of semen inside Judy’s chambers, coating her inner walls and surrounding his own red length with its moisture. Judy herself leaned back and closed her eyes as she rode the sudden flare of Nick’s cock, her right paw furiously rubbing her inflated clitoris above her opening. 

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhh — haaa!” Judy screamed under Nick’s chin, her inner walls once again hugging Nick’s length upon the actual arrival of her third orgasm. The rabbit remained petrified for a moment, little spasms making her twitch as Nick held her in place. For several seconds Judy’s body continued to shake, gradually becoming less frequent as her senses regained control of themselves. With her body’s twitches slowing down, Nick’s paws began to smooth over the furs of her shoulder, his tongue lolling out of his mouth and licking the back of her head. “Haa… aah… mm…” Judy moaned under Nick’s administrations, her body beginning to droop away from him as her head sank.

“You need to lay down?” Nick asked, moving his paw in front of her chest to keep her from falling forward off the couch and pulling his knot with her. 

“Hnng — y-yeah…” Judy muttered with a weak voice. Nick chuckled with amusement, before wrapping both paws around her and pulling her back against his white sleeveless undershirt. 

“Okay, we’re gonna go to the left,” he advised her, leaning and moving his left paw to keep her head steady, “Easy does it. There we go, and… done,” he said, once Judy’s head touched the farthest cushion on the left side of the couch, Nick laying right behind her with the knowledge that he’d remain stuck in such a position for another fifteen minutes until his knot began to soften back into its sheath. With Judy’s consciousness waning, Nick lifted a paw up to her head and smoothed it over the length of her limp right ear, drawing a feeble smile of comfort from the twitching rabbit attached to him.

Reaching for the remote, Nick rubbed his thumb against the movable ball at the center, prompting the mouse to move up to the corner of the screen and close the window playing the video. As much as he loved that Judy found it so much of a turn on, he’d had more than his fill of watching and hearing himself take a dump today. His right foot scraped the regular television remote along the sofa until he could reach it with his paw, pressing the power button and scouring through the menu to find something to watch. While his thumb pressed down on the rubber button, he felt Judy twitch in front of him, while murmuring something in her state of sleep. 

“Hnn… dirty fox butt…” Judy muttered, her face twitching even with her eyes still closed, “Adorable… messy…”

Nick smiled and chuckled softly, before putting the remote down and running his palm over the side of Judy’s face. He could only imagine the images running through Judy’s sleeping mind at the moment, but from the sensation of her soft tail swaying against his waist, she seemed to enjoy it. Keeping his pace slow, Nick leaned his head down and pressed his lips against her cheek. A weak smile formed on Judy’s open mouth, followed by her tail’s pace quickening the slightest bit. Resuming petting his sleeping lover, Nick’s ears picked up the sounds coming from the television, seeing that he’d landed on ZMC’s The Chomping Dead.

“ _ Look here, Collin, _ ” a rather thin buffalo with a southern accent said to what appeared to be his son, “ _ I think this new place we’re going to might be the place we can call home. We traveled the road for ages running from the chompers, but I think we can finally put that all behind us once we get there.” _

“ _ Dad, this is the fourth time you’ve said something like that, _ ” the young buffalo replied with a tone of annoyance, “ _ The first time was at that farm, right after I got shot in the stomach, then the farm ended up going down in flames. Then you said it again when we reached that prison complex, and I ended up having to shoot mom. Then you said it a third time before we reached that place that turned out to be run by cannibals. I’m starting to think no matter where we go, something’s just gonna end up destroying it and force us back on the road again.” _

_ “Well… I don’t think that’s gonna happen this time, Collin.Besides, I’ve got a hot new samurai girlfriend to replace your dead mom, _ ” the father said, pointing to the female panther with a sword strapped to her back and a bandana around her forehead,  _ “You like having a samurai mom, right Collin?” _

_ “Yeah, having a samurai mom is pretty awesome.” _

_ “See, there you go, Collin. Let’s just give this new place a chance. It’s not like you’re gonna get your eye shot out or anything.” _ Nick furrowed his brow and curled his mouth as he watched the animals on screen walking down the road, following another group of mammals leading them to a stronghold far off in the distance. 

“This show’s gone on for how many seasons now?”Nick asked, before pressing the Info button on the remote, showing the episode on TV was episode three of its fifth season, “Huh. Well okay then.”

“Huh?” a soft and confused voice sounded from below Nick, as the rabbit held in place by his swollen cock began to stir. He looked down to see her face scrunched up as she fought to open her eyes and look up at the fox above her. Hey…” Judy muttered, her voice low and weary, heavy with exhaustion, “How long was I out?”

“Not long,” Nick replied, “Just a few minutes. Still got a little bit before I can get you untied from my lap.”

“That’s fine. It’s pretty cozy in this position anyway.” Judy said, snuggling her buttcheeks up against his lap while Nick stroked his paw down the center of her chest. Judy’s hip motions stopped for a moment as her ears jumped up, followed by a slight groan. “Hold on; I gotta fart again,” she announced. A wide grin spread over Nick’s face and his bushy tail thumped lightly against the couch as his eyes looked down at Judy’s gray cheeks clenching up under her white tail. “Mmmf…”

**_Pluup_ **

“Phew,” Judy sighed as her buttocks relaxed, giving another wiggle against his lap. The same warmth from before comforted Nick’s groin, followed by the tart smell overtaking the air around his head. 

“I gotta say Judy, I could get used to this,” Nick said, adjusting his hips to lean forward toward the TV, his toned rear pointed up toward the top of the couch and his tail lifting upward. 

**_Pfraaap_ **

“Me too,” Judy replied after the expulsion from Nick’s butt, as his own fumes spread through the air and mixed with Judy’s. He could feel the rabbit’s soft little tail wiggling underneath his stomach as she sniffed the air and hummed in satisfaction

“God, we’re really gross, you know that Judy?”

“I do,” Judy said, looking up with adoration at the fox staring down at her, “And there’s no mammal on Earth I’d rather be gross with than you.”

Nick leaned his head down and placed another light kiss on the rabbit he felt such fondness toward. His right paw moved to rub underneath her jaw and along the side of her face, while Judy’s touch moved over his chest along the fur poking over his tank top. They kept their kisses gentle and controlled, no desire to start another lustful romp after such an extravagant release just a moment ago.

Over the past month, they’d engaged in one of the most extravagant kinks known to mammals, each of them being the spectator with their partner as the spectacle and driving their arousal to new heights. While many might consider such an interest depraved or immoral, they knew it didn’t change anything about their characters. Judy still held onto her sense of optimism and drive to make the world a better place by helping one mammal at a time, while Nick retained his charming wit and sarcasm over his drive to prove his worth among mammals who thought little of him. They would continue to grow closer to one another, discover new kinks to try; some of them would be hits, some of them would be misses. No matter what ups and downs they experienced, they knew they would always have their heartfelt connection underneath everything they did. 

Releasing her lips, Nick pulled his head back and kept his eyes locked with hers, staring into her glossy pools of violet as he rubbed the base of her hanging left ear. He felt a bit of movement at his groin, and looked down to notice the base of his knot had become visible. 

“Looks like it’s simmering down,” Nick said, “You ready for me to pull out?” 

“I guess,” Judy said with false disappointment. Pulling her knees to her chest, she held herself in place while Nick eased his hips back, letting the round bulb slip out of her sticky pussy with a slight wince from both of them. Without an obstruction in her caverns, a heavy flow of thick, white semen poured out of Judy’s pussy and onto Nick’s sofa. Judy hummed a bit from the feeling of the fluid seeping out of her, her back arching as her hindquarters swayed to shake every drop of fluid out of her. Freed of its warm and moist confines, Nick’s shaft baskedin the cool air of his apartment for a moment, before the knot began to pull back into his sheath, along with the rest of his pointed red dick. 

“Well, that was fun,” Nick said, looking at the clock to see that it was just half past nine in the morning, “Any idea what to do with the rest of our day off?”

“Well, we could do what I suggested yesterday,” Judy began, pulling herself up to face Nick, her pussy lips still glistening from the wetness of her and his fluids clinging to the surface, “We could take a trip to the museum?” Nick rolled his eyes at Judy’s wide grin toward him.

“Yeah right,” Nick replied, “I’m pretty sure after pulling that little stunt you saw on the video, I’ve banned me for life.”

“Maybe. But I think it might be worth it to pay a visit and talk things over with the curator. I’m pretty sure that the cleaning staff is supposed to let you in even if they’re in the middle of working; especially if they know they’re cleaning the one working men’s bathroom in the entire building. I think if we explain what happened and agree to pay for whatever it cost to clean up the damages, he’ll be willing to forgive us.”

“I’m not sure how much I believe that,” Nick said, Judy scrunching her face up in disappointment, “But it’s worth a shot. Worst that happens is he says no, right?” Judy’s face returned to its joyful smile at Nick’s somewhat positive shift in attitude. “Any other plans?”

“Well, I do have another idea for later tonight. But it’s gonna have to wait until you’ve had a big lunch, and possibly another coffee later today, before it can happen.”

“What’re you… oh,” Nick said, his ears falling back as Judy’s playful expression and wiggling tail helped him figure out what she had in mind. 

“I mean, I don’t want to force you to do something that makes you uncomfortable,” Judy assured him, “But I’ve already seen video footage of the show, and  _ loved it _ . I just can’t help but think I’d love a live performance even more.”

Nick tilted his head back and thought it over. If the past hour had taught him anything, it was that Judy was harder to phase than he’d given her credit for when they’d first began their relationship. She’d been willing to indulge his curiosity weeks ago by standing over his stomach and using it in place of the toilet next to the shower they stood in. It seemed only fair that he place the same trust in her that she did with him at the time. 

And while Nick would have preferred to pick up a tasty Bug Burga and fries for lunch, he figured it might be in his stomach’s best interest to avoid greasy foods for a while. He could settle for a nice tuna sandwich on wheat bread from Cubway, along with a small salad on the side. Any little bit to keep things in his gut moving without problems, which would come in handy later tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

Bright lights above the mirror illuminated the eggshell walls of the bathroom inside apartment number 2B of Temmin Lofts. Standing in front of the white counter littered with shaving and deodorant products, a lean red fox slipped his paws down his hips, into the waistline of his green striped boxers  and pulled them downward. With the undergarments falling to his ankles, the fox stood without a shred of clothing on him, the cream fur of his sheath and balls laid bare without a shred of clothing to conceal them.

“You positive want to see this, Judy?” the fox asked the rabbit in front of him, just as naked as he. His eyes looked her over from foot to head, admiring the large shape of her robust legs and her curvy hips, underneath the slope of her skinny tummy and her gray nipples, barely visible under the white fur covering her small breasts. Her ears remained upright and alert while her violet eyes locked downward onto Nick’s sheath with interest, as if she hadn’t already seen it more than ten times before. 

“Nick, how many times are you gonna ask me that?” Judy replied, her eyes turning upward to gaze at the light-colored fur of his chest underneath his red shoulders, “I already had three orgasms this morning watching you do it on video. I don’t see why I wouldn’t find watching the same thing live just as enjoyable.”

“I don’t know,” Nick said, scratching his neck nervously, “I’m just kind of scared you might find it a turn-off if I make certain… noises, when I’m doing this.”

“Oh relax,” Judy said, stepping forward and hanging her arms around his waist, “Nick, everybody poops, and there’s no graceful way to do it. We all fart, grunt, strain and end up with a messy behind when we’re done. Didn’t we agree that’s what makes it sexy?”

The fox felt his face grow warm from Judy’s statement, putting in his mind the visual of her sitting on his toilet and scrunching her face while she squeezed her own brown logs out of her gray cheeks. Seeing his flustered face, Judy’s paws reached down his back and onto his lean red glutes, giving each side a loving squeeze. Feeling a bit more assurance, Nick’s arms wrapped around Judy and returned the gesture, lowering his paws down to her rounder, succulent cheeks and grabbing as much as his paws could handle.

“Now come on; we spent most of the day after lunch at the museum, once we cleared things up with the curator and agreed to pay them for damages, and you still had breakfast in your gut before that. I think those meals have long overstayed their welcome.” 

Truth be told, Nick didn’t feel anywhere close to desperate for a dump at the moment; he couldn’t even qualify it as urgent. It was noticeable however, and hard to ignore the consistent poking sensation behind his butthole. The swelling need to release some building gas in front of the solid matter added to the agitation between his cheeks at the moment. 

“Alright, if this is what you want, so be it. Just don’t get mad at me if it’s not what you imagined it to be,” he warned her, shaking her paws away from him and stepping past her to the toilet near the shower, “Give me a second though, I’ve gotta take a leak first.”

“You don’t want to just sit down and do that?” Judy asked.

“It’s kind of weird to. I don’t know if all guys work the same way, but if I piss while sitting down, I really have to squeeze it out. It comes out a lot easier if I’m standing.”

“Oh, interesting,” Judy remarked, lowering herself to her knees and keeping her eyes fixed on Nick’s front privates. Looking down at the clear water within his toilet, Nick saw the tip of his red penis creep out of his sheath, its limp form hanging downward toward the bowl. “So your dick stays in your sheath the whole time, and just comes out when you’re peeing or when you’re about to have sex?”

“Yup. That’s the way it is for most mammals with sheaths,” Nick explained, reaching down and slipping the digits of his right paw underneath his shaft to give it a bit of lift, “At least I think it is; I’ve never had any reason or want to go looking it up myself.”

“What a neat little thing,” Judy said, prompting Nick to lift an eyebrow out her, “Oh, I mean a big, huge,  _ enormous, gargantuan,  _  — ”

“Okay thanks, can I just pee now?” Nick said, Judy snorting with amusement before Nick breathed in. Exhaling slowly, a quick surge moved up his shaft, and a stream of yellow liquid poured out, trickling against the once clear water below. Nick sighed with his mouth open at the blissful relief coursing through his loins, like a less intense orgasm that made up for its lack of force in favor of its extended duration. Looking down at his stream, he could see that the yellow color seemed a bit more pale than when he’d needed a whizz a few hours after lunch. He was glad to see that since his incident in the museum yesterday morning, his water intake had greatly improved the state of his body’s hydration. 

“Whoa…” Judy muttered, drawing Nick’s attention away from his own torrent and down to Judy. Her ears remained slightly more rigid than usual, her paws gripping onto the edge of the toilet while she gazed at Nick’s urine pouring out of him. “I can’t believe I’m actually watching this. This is pretty fascinating.”

“Don’t get too close, Carrots. It kind of tends to splash if it’s trickling from this height.”

“...Too late,” Judy admitted sheepishly.

“What!? Crap!” Nick uttered frantically as his ears fell against his head,  his stream of urine cutting off and leaving a slight dribble from the tip of his shaft, “Judy, I’m sorry, I — !”

“Relax Nick, it’s not that big a deal. It’s just a few drops on my chest; you probably can’t even see them, can you?” Nick took a moment to look over the gray fur of Judy’s chest, the lighter color around her nipples and the center of her petite bust. Just like she’d said, he didn’t see any wet spots or darkened fur signifying the drops of liquid flying onto her. “Besides, we’re gonna shower after this anyway. I don’t mind if some of your pee flies onto me.” With Nick’s eyes still on her, Judy fluttered her eyelashes toward him. “Take that in whatever context you like. Come on, finish up already.” 

Rolling his eyes, Nick had to push on his bladder a bit to get things moving and resume the stream of yellow pouring out of him. The extra push intensified his need to fart, but he clenched his hindquarters to keep it stored within him for the moment. He would have loved to let it rip while he was pissing like usual. He wondered though if Judy might appreciate it more if he did so while sitting on the toilet and right about to take a dump before breaking wind, sort of like an appetizer of what would follow. 

Several more seconds passed, and the swelling feeling in Nick’s shaft began to die down along with the liquid pouring out of him. The stream again diminished into a line of drops falling from the tip of his red shaft, until ceasing completely. His wrist moved up and down, his paw giving the soft flesh a hearty set of shakes to loosen the bit of wetness clinging onto the tip. His muscles then relaxed and let his length retreat back inside the cream-colored sheath above his balls. 

“Well, that takes care of one end,” Nick said, Judy scooting herself across the floor as he pulled the silver handle down to flush the yellow water in the bowl away, “Guess that just leaves what’s in the trunk. If you have any reservations Carrots, now’s your chance to back out.” Following his warning, his ears jumped up when he felt Judy’s paw grip his rounded red buttcheeks once again, running her digits down his fur and giving them a gentle scratching. 

“Give me just a moment,” she said, her thumbs parting his cheeks and giving his gray anus a bit of a stretch, “I just want to take a moment and marvel at the fact that there’d be no way to tell without knowing in advance, that there’s a fat, stinking turd hiding behind this cute, strong and beautifully sculpted butt of yours.” Nick moaned in response to Judy rubbing her right thumb against his butthole, already feeling slight pressure poking from behind and increasing his urgency to fart just a bit. 

“Careful there, Carrots,” Nick said with his huge tail hovering above her head, “You’re playing a dangerous game getting that close to the blast shields knowing what’s behind them.”

“I know. And sometimes I like to laugh in the face of danger,” Judy fired back, planting a kiss on his anus and making him moan before pushing his cheeks closed and rubbing her face against their round form. 

“Yeah, well my butt might do something in your face if you keep doing what you’re doing. And I don’t think you want to catch it point-blank, do you?”

“Hm… nah,” Judy admitted, “I don’t mind catching a whiff, but there’s no way I could handle a full blast right to the face. Go ahead, assume the position, Mr. Wilde.” 

Exhaling with relief, Nick stepped forward out of Judy’s grip and lowered the seat before spreading his legs. Straddling the toilet with his posterior facing Judy, he rested his elbows on the tank behind the raised lid before sitting down. Nick had only sat backwards on the toilet a few times in his life, at a much younger and curious age. The position forced him to arch his back and poke his butt outward, the seat squishing his cheeks upward and spreading them open to show off his anus underneath his tail high in the air. 

“You got a good view?” Nick asked, looking over his shoulder as Judy moved herself forward on her knees and flashed him a thumbs up a few feet of away from his butt on display. 

“Looks great from what I can see,” Judy said, her supple round cheeks hovering over the wooden floor as she sat on her knees, her eyes locked on the round orifice between Nick’s red globes, “Fire away, Captain.”

Still feeling a bit nervous, Nick reminded himself of how wonderful the woman kneeling behind him was, and how she’d proven herself more tolerant than any mammal in the world, added to the fact that she’d looked forward to see him do this in front of her for hours. With the bubble behind his rectum reaching too big of a swell for him to ignore any longer, Nick cast any lingering reservations away, tightening the muscles in his gut and closing his mouth before he gave his sphincter a slight push. 

**_Plooooot_ **

“Whoa, nelly!” Judy exclaimed while Nick breathed out in relief and shock following his butt’s expulsion, “That was a huge one!”

“Blame the acoustics,” Nick said, his anus twitching a bit from the suddenness of his release, “The roundness of the porcelain amplifies the volume by a few decibels.” 

“Yeah, but not by a lot. That would have bit a pretty loud honker even if you were standing,” Judy teased, before taking a light sniff of the air, “Phew, I can smell it even from here.”

“It’s not bad, is it?” Nick asked, wincing at her remark. 

“Not like what you did at the museum. Just a little sour and pungent, nothing abnormal. Just your regular everyday coffee toots, Nicky.” The fox’s ears fell back in embarrassment, even when Judy giggled and bit her lip while looking at his rump. “Don’t stop now; I’m pretty sure you’re holding back more than just some foul wind, right?”

Nick still found it hard to believe that Judy found something like this so arousing, even though she’d experienced multiple orgasms while watching the same thing on video that morning. With his gas expelled, all that remained was the end of his turd poking behind the surface of his anus, demanding that he stop prolonging its release at once. 

_ Here we go, Wilde _ , Nick told himself, readjusting his position on the toilet to spread his cheeks and anus by just a few more centimeters,  _ No holding back.  _ With his mind made up and his ears relaxing, Nick tightened up the muscles below his waist, his legs and rectum becoming rigid when he pressed through the center of his firm buttocks. 

“Hnn… nnngh… ahhh,” Nick grunted, his anus slowly spreading to reveal the head of the log he’d kept at bay until now. It was a fair medium-brown, the same color of a Horshey’s milk chocolate bar, and thick as his wrist when a few more inches poured out of his hole. 

“Oh my God…” Judy said from behind him in awe of the expanding log slithering out from under his tail, “It’s huge!”

“It can’t be — nngh, that much bigger than… what you already saw… right?” Nick asked, still keeping his concentration up to refrain from losing any momentum his turd had gained. 

“Not  _ that  _ big, no. But still, pretty impressive. It’s about to touch the water.”

“Whoa. And I’m only — uff, ha-alfway done…  unngh.” Nick grunted from the strain of his butthole stretching, giving way to the girth of the turd pushing out and continuing its slow descent. The half foot long turd sticking out of his butt had a chunky consistency despite its firmness, uneven in form with knobs and splits all throughout its form. The force of his pushing once again ignited his bladder to squeeze out a bit of urine left behind, eliciting a light trickle against the porcelain above the water underneath him. 

As he continued to push, his ears jumped upright when they heard an all too familiar noise behind him, wet, moist, and pulsating in a steady rhythm. Nick turned his gaze to Judy, lowering his eyes and seeing her ears hanging behind her neck and her right paw tucked between her legs. Her wrist moved back and forth, while her left paw groped her right breast, her tongue hanging out of her open mouth while she watched Nick’s butt squeezing out what used to be breakfast and lunch. Meeting his gaze, Judy’s smile widened as she licked her lips toward him.

“Told you it wouldn’t turn me off,” Judy said, the rhythm of her right paw moving faster and quickening the rate of the squishing sound filling the air. With each plunge of her digit up into her caverns, her curvaceous gray and white posterior clenched slightly from the tingling pulse coursing through her loins. “Keep going. I want to see how big this log can get.” With a silent nod, Nick continued his efforts and pushed his turd out even further. A few seconds passed and he could feel the stretch of his rectum lessening, while the rate of its exit hastened little by little. 

Once the skinny tail of it fell from his butthole, it fell into the water with a deep plop, making a few drops of water splash onto Nick’s fur, eliciting an awestruck gasp from Judy kneeling behind him. His muscles relaxed from the exertion, causing Nick to exhale in relief. Taking a breath, Nick caught a strong whiff of the bittersweet fumes emitting from his anus after pushing out such a huge log. 

“Geez louise Nick, how do you hold such a big thing in your stomach the whole day!?”

“I’m not even done yet,” Nick replied, his anus still flexing from the sudden relief of closing after such a wide stretch, and glistening from the slight stickiness left behind after it had made its exit. 

“Y-you’ve still got more in you?” Judy asked in shock, wincing from pinching her nipple and tugging it outward. Nick allowed himself to smile as his bushy tail swished through the air above his slick butthole underneath its base. 

“Not like a lot; just another nugget or a sliver. Hang — nnnng on…” Nick sank his head down into his shoulders and again began to push through his rectum. His anus once again flexed and ushered a skinnier log to emerge, lighter in color than the one he’d just dropped and softer in consistency too. “Oh man this feels like it’s gonna get messy.”

“Ohhhh, it looks like it from where I’m sitting,” Judy concurred, her voice becoming strained from the pace of her paw quickened yet again. Along with the squish of Judy’s digit in her pussy, the sound of Nick’s soft log sliding from his anus filled the air, squishing through his flesh and crackling with the tiny pockets of air trapped within its form. 

“Almo — ohhh — st… done…” Nick grunted, his face squeezing tight as he forced the remainder of his slender turd out of his anus, “And… done!” Nick exclaimed when he felt the tail of the log drop from his sphincter, leaving a small chunk of itself behind on the surface of his butthole. The orifice began to flex and twitch in response to the relief coursing through his body, forcing the remaining sludge to squish and slide against the rest of his anus. Nick grumbled a bit under his breath, irritated that he’d unintentionally made the coming cleanup harder than it could have been. At any rate, he felt better having pushed mess out of his body, and took some satisfaction from hearing Judy’s rapid plunging of her nethers behind him. 

Out of curiosity, Nick lifted himself from the seat in spite of the slickness along his butthole and looked down into the water below him. His eyebrows lifted in response to seeing half a foot of the first medium-brown turd in the shape of a lowercase L at the bottom of the bowl, topped by a somewhat squiggly and skinnier turd resting above it. 

“Wow, that is pretty big,” Nick said with an impressed none, “Welp, I’m all done on my end, both of them. How about you, Carrots?”

“Getting there…” Judy whimpered, her ears still drooping as her face tightened up from the building arousal within her. She paused in her ministrations to crawl forward on her knees toward Nick, her chin just a few inches from the edge of the bowl.

“Careful, Judy. This smells pretty ripe, you sure you want to get this close?”

“I can handle it,” Judy squeaked, her right paw resuming its fast pace as she leaned over and looked down at the pile submerged in water, “Ho-holy crap! That-that! That huge pile… came out of your cute fox butt!” Whimpering as she kept her paw busy between her legs, Judy pulled her left paw away from her breasts and reached for Nick’s left glute, pushing the weighted mass to the side to get a better look at the brown smudge along his butthole. “Ahhh! It’s s-so messy!”

“Well, yeah, of course,” Nick replied, letting his tail drop and brush over Judy’s drooping ears. He could see from the look on her face that she was getting close, from the sight of his dump and the state of his cheeks, along with the loving embrace of his tail while she rubbed her throbbing clitoris. “My my, Judy. I can’t believe you’re about to cum just from watching me poop.”

“I — ahhhh, I-I like watching you… pooooop!” Judy screamed, before her body hunched over, her thighs squeezing her wrist tight while she clenched her teeth together. Her lower body shook with great force, making the thickness of her butt jiggle from her trembling hips. Her left paw gripped Nick’s left glute the entire time, even when she began to twitch under the spasms of her orgasm making every nerve in her body light up like fireworks in the sky. “Oh… ho…” Judy moaned, her voice dropping just a bit from the peak of her orgasm waning. The rabbit closed her mouth, humming in bliss with a weak smile forming on her face. “Ahh… I can’t believe I just said that.”

“Me neither,” Nick said, “It’s kind of cute though. Oh, I’m allowed to use that word, right?”

“You’ve been allowed to use that word for months, Nick. Haaah…” Judy’s eyes opened slowly, getting another look at Nick’s brown hole. The fox gave his hips a light shake under her gaze, which prompted another sharp twitch from her. “Ohh! Cripes, that’s… ahh!” Judy hunched over again and remained frozen for several seconds before she regained enough composure to straighten her posture without twitching. “Okay… I’m good.”

“You sure?” Nick asked with a laugh.

“I’m sure. I think I might have squirted onto your floor though. Sorry.”

“Pft, I don’t care,” Nick scoffed. Despite his efforts, Nick couldn’t lean his head back far enough to see what Judy saw at the moment. “So tell me; is it a warzone down there?”

“It’s not terrible,” Judy replied, still entranced by the light-brown smudges coating Nick’s anus, “Not nearly the mess I saw on the video, but it’s gonna take more than one swipe to clean it up.”

“Right. Guess I better take care of that then,” Nick replied, reaching for the toilet paper roll to the right of him.

“Actually,” Judy began, her ears jumping upward as she stood to her feet and reached toward his paw before it could touch the roll, “It’s a little worse than I thought; you might need an extra paw to help you out with this one.” Nick looked down at Judy with raised eyebrows, the rabbit giving a feeble smile in response. 

“You sure you want to do that?” Nick asked, Judy giving a rapid nod, “Alright, knock yourself out,” he relented, pulling his paw back to the tank in front of him while Judy reached for the white roll, wrapping a number of layers around her paw before ripping it off. Nick kept his eyes on the rabbit, unable to see her paw disappear under his behind. The fox saw Judy’s grin widen for a moment before his concentration was broken by a soft but sudden push against the center of his slick anus.

.”Hnnng!” Nick whimpered, his cock jumping from the slight stimulation moving up to his prostate. Along with the firmness of her digits, he could even feel a bit of wetness behind the toilet paper, making him realize she’d chosen to wipe him with the same paw she’d used to masturbate. He’d not felt anyone wipe his dirty butt since his mother had when he was a pup. While using his own paw to push the soft tissue against himself felt nice, having Judy’s touch brushing between the red fur of his cheeks felt grand. He could feel her digits push and rub up his hole, taking her time to bask in the new sensation of the sludge that caked his butthole. Even without looking at her, the fox could sense through her paw how enamored she felt with the experience, getting to touch her boyfriend in a new, intimate way. Nick closed his eyes and hummed, enjoying the gentle probe against his rectum.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Judy teased, pulling her paw upward and letting the soft toilet paper drag some of the sludge away from his hole. Out of the fox’s view, Judy’s fluffy little cottontail over her hefty gray cheeks began to shake at a rapid pace, her hips swaying just the slightest bit themselves. “You like having someone wipe your messy bottom for you?”

“Don’t-don’t make this weird, Judy,” Nick muttered. Judy’s paw halted at the top of his buttcrack, and she offered him a confused stare, while the fox realized what he just said. “You know what I mean; weirder than it already is.”

“Nope. We’re way past the point of weird, and I intend to have as much fun with it as I can. Besides, your red rocket seems to like it when I talk about wiping your beautiful, stinky tushy.”

“Ahh…” Nick moaned from the way Judy teased his frail state, and from another enticing push of Judy’s paw taking another swipe through his buttcrack. The tingling sensation coursing through his prostate caused his penis to stiffen and touch the underside of the toilet seat, even after it had been hanging out from peeing a moment ago.

“Wow, look at this mess,” Judy said after she pulled the wad of paper back from Nick’s behind. The fox looked downward again to see the center of the white fabric coated in a thick layer of brown, spanning out from the area surrounding it. 

“Blech,” Nick gagged at the sight of the dirty paper, “You gonna keep that as a memento or something?”

“God, no!” Judy laughed before she dropped the paper into the water and reached for the roll again, “I don’t need a memento if it’s not the last time we do something like this.”

“Oh really? And what makes you think I’ll want to— ahh!” Nick moaned when Judy’s paw dug into his behind again to wipe up more of the mulch between his cheeks. 

“That,” Judy remarked, pressing firmly into his crack to pull up all the filth that one swipe could allow, “That’s not the sound someone makes when they don’t want something to happen again.”

“Mmm… I’ll think about it,” Nick whimpered, feeling his cock jump again with a full erection. He leaned his head forward and laid his head against the dark fur of his forearms, basking in the comfort of letting his girlfriend wipe his dirty butt. It took another minute before Judy’s swipes became less firm, brushing along the surface of his inner cheeks to catch the remaining specks clinging to him. “All done back there?”

“Almost,” Judy said, reaching again for another slightly thinner wad. With her left paw pushing his cheek to the side, Judy pushed her thumb coated in toilet paper against the center of Nick’s anus with enough force to breach the surface. 

“Ohhh!” Nick moaned as he leaned his head back, “You’re not even wiping me anymore; you’re just toying with my butthole.”

“Nuh-uh,” Judy fired back with a playful tone, “I’m just making sure to get you extra clean in there. Nothing worse than missing a few spots and having an itchy butthole, right?” Following a few whimpers from the fox, Judy eventually pulled her thumb away, seeing a small circle of brown on the paper before she dropped it in. “There you go; now you’ve got a spotless butt.”

“Thanks Judy. Glad to have a professional butt-wiper like you by my side.”

“I learned from the best,” Judy said, leaning down to give his right buttcheek a kiss and making the fox jump with surprise, “So, you ready to get extra clean in the shower?”

“Clean?” Nick asked, turning around to face her as he flushed the toilet, the suction pulling the pile of brown and dirty paper away from sight, “Judging by the way you’re looking at my erection right now, I don’t think you’re that concerned with getting clean.”

“Eh… we’ll play it by ear,” Judy said, reaching for the water spout and turning the water on, testing its warmth before switching the flow to pour out of the showerhead. 

Following Judy into the shower, Nick basked in the warm water pouring over him and weighing his red fur down. He looked toward Judy’s back in front of him, the gray hair coating her body doing the same as his while she looked over her shoulder toward him, her round tail still wiggling over her sizable posterior. Nick stepped forward and rose his paws to her petite chest, giving her breasts a squeeze as her nipples poked into his palms. She let out a gasp of satisfaction and pushed her rump up against the underside of his erection like a soft and warm bun holding a hot dog. Leaning over her right shoulder, Nick rubbed the side of his face against hers, taking solace in their wet bodies pressed against one another. Judy turned her head to the side and kissed his cheek, prompting him to return the gesture in kind. Their tongues pushed past their lips and met in haste while their lips remained locked, their bodies melting into one another’s embrace. 

Despite his feigned protests, Nick knew that he’d be fine putting on another bathroom performance if Judy enjoyed it on the same level that he did with her in the spotlight. It would still take some time to discover how far each of them was willing to venture before they reached their line of kinks that they couldn’t cross, but that was all part of a healthy relationship; trying new things, seeing what works and what doesn’t, with the comfort of knowing that no matter what hit and what missed, their feelings for one another would remain strong as ever. Both of them would give one hundred and ten percent for each other every chance they could, no matter how clean or dirty the situation before them was. 

**Author's Note:**

> And with that, this strange little story of my is complete. And yes, I'm hoping to do more like these in the future, possibly with other characters or different scenarios. Hope you guys enjoy coming on the ride with me!


End file.
